Charlotte, NC, June 6th 2003

All right. Beverly was an angel sent to me from heaven. Oh my God.

Beverly called us while she was at work, we were at her home. I had just had a shower, when Maura who finally decided to tour with us, knocked on my door and said : "Barbara, what would make you happiest?", and I said, without a doubt "To see Anthony", and then she said "Well, that might be possible because now we know where they're staying".
Turns out that Bev knew the hotel where they were staying at and so Geli and I went over there. I was shitting my pants. I don't think I've ever had such amount of blood going to my head at a time, my heart was beating as if I had run 100 miles at my maximum speed. My knees were watering and so were my hands. I saw the tour buses right outside. I took a few deep breaths before walking in, and finally I thought "now or never".
I stopped in the reception desk and asked the man there for the Tour manager. He kind of raised his eyebrow and asked me if he was expecting me, so I said no. He said he would call him to his room and asked my name. No need, he was walking right behind me.

He looked as sloppy as usual, yet there's something so charming about him. I look at him, he looks back and before I say anything he stops DEAD right in front of me. ."Hi, how are you?" he says just so naturally, like we just saw each other last week and gives me a hug. A sincere hug.
I do not believe that he actually stopped to say hi to me.
"Do you remember me?!" I ask him in obvious disbelief.
"Yes, from... (he puts his hand on his head, trying to make his memory work) Stockholm, right?"
Oh my dear Lord. He remembered me from two months before, when we talked for about 5 minutes.
Right at this moment I felt I was in a dream world. Again. It all looked so blurry. Again.
He was very much in a hurry. He asked me if I was staying in that hotel too. I said no, and started explaining what I was trying to do. He said "walk with me", so we followed him at his 1000 miles per hour, because apparently they were getting ready to go to the show. So I tell him about the documentary I'm doing. He seems to be listening to everything, but keeps on walking fast. "Come with me". So we're inside the elevator all the way up to the whatever-th floor, I think. We walk through the hallway. My heart is beating so fast. I look around expecting the unexpected. We walk into his room. "Sit down" he says. We sit on his bed, because there's nothing else to sit on. He sits on his desk in front of his lap top. "So you're following the whole tour"."Yes" I said."And who do you want to talk to?"…

I felt like I was at the doctor's. This man was there listening to my "problems". This man is a real Angel walking the Earth. His name is Louie.
He said that he would see what he could do, and added that they don't like doing press things because they've had enough with all the BTW promotion and they're not too happy about press in general anyways. "But I think we can arrange something". I was sitting there and in the corner I saw this package laying on the floor with the name Michael Balzary on it.
There were also some tea boxes lying around.
Finally I ask him if it's possible to get backstage passes. He looked all serious and said "the thing about the passes is that you have to stay out of the way". He wrote an e mail and asked to spell my name. We left. Drove back to the venue where Beverly and the other girl were already waiting for us.
We had a pretty cool picnic in the parking lot, and Bev, amazing as she is, gave me a birthday cake with it's little candle on it and everything.
It was close to Showtime. Went up to pick our passes and ... they were there.

I can't remember how, but suddenly I was on the stage, looking at everyone working. I will never forget this sensation as long as I live. I saw all the people jumping and getting excited the way I have always felt when I listen to the techs adjusting the instruments, announcing that my band will be there soon. It's always the same tech chords. Same guitar strings same drum beats. I see the signs, the RHCP love flow running at high speed in the air. The excitement in people growing more and more. The lights go off. It's pure ecstasy. If I could describe a tiny moment of divine happiness, this would be it.

The show was fantastic. Martin, right after the show came up to me and gave me the set list . No need for me to ask.

John sang one of my all time favorite Beatles song "I've just seen a face" which was fucking cool because I don't think I've ever heard that song live, ever.
I loved this show, it was so special.
Afterwards we go and hang out backstage because I was supposed to bring the presents we had carried along for the band. I was looking for Louie but he seemed quite busy.

Flea passes right by us and he said "hi girls" and we said "hiiiiiiiiiiiii". So girly!
Then, they put us inside the catering room. There was a guard right outside of the room not letting anyone out, which was where the band was hanging out for some odd reason.
There were soft drinks and coffee in "our" room so we just kept helping ourselves with some tea.
I went to the door to have a look where the manager was, and I was about to put my head out of that room when suddenly Anthony was having a look inside as well.
My heart stopped beating. I froze. He looked at me very briefly and I just looked away and got away from there as fast and gracefully as I could. I think it took a while for my heart to start beating again. I think I went pale.
It's not like I've never seen him before, but...Fuck. I can't believe I froze. Anyways... WE'RE IN. and we have 2 more weeks to come.

Raleigh, NC, june 5th 2003

This show is one of the best I have ever seen!!
They actually sang Sir Psycho Sexy at the encore after Under the Bridge, and "They're red hot" as the final song, although they changed it from the original set list (yep, I got another one ).
Originally they were going to sing power of equality. But I loved that they changed it.

The crowd was amazing, They also sang Breaking the girl and I could have lied. I've never been happier with a set list! I was almost crying in my emotion, so perfect. I was sitting not so far away, but far from being on the best spot.
No success therefore, getting backstage though. I ran into Dave while I was on my seat and he stopped to say hi, and then went on. Then I met this other guy, Martin, (now I know his name) who was the one giving me the set list yesterday in Orlando. He remembered me from yesterday, but he said he didn't remember me from Europe, which was why I though he had given me the set list in the first place. He's so nice, he spotted me on my seat, stopped by and then asked me if I was following them , so he was a bit shocked when I told him that we were following the tour. I asked him about the girl who had offered us the passes yesterday, and asked her name. It sounds so much like "she's a hottie", so that's what we call her now because I didn't get the actual name. I asked Martin to save me a set list, but at the end of the show I went up to the front while everyone was picking up all the stuff and asked Dave to pass it to me which he kindly did. We went to the gig with Beverly, this amazing girl I met in OHG, and after the show we met this other girl in the parking lot who just jumped into our car and when she found out we are doing the whole tour asked us if she could join us. She's quite young, I think 19, but seems fun, so we said hell yeah!
Beverly is such an angel, a beautiful sweet human being. Yesterday, after the 10 hour drive from Orlando, we came into her house and she fed us and gave us such a good place to sleep. She showed me stuff I had never seen before like Madonna and Anthony dancing together. We watched it until late. She's such a sweetheart. She told me to pick some of her Chili Peppers videos so she can make copies for me. So we all (Beverly, Geli, Maura the girl and I) drove back from Raleigh to Charlotte after the show, it's 345 am, and tomorrow is the Charlotte show. The good thing is that we're already here and we can actually get up late rather than the usual 7 am get up and drive thing. But I feel like I can't do this anymore.

Orlando, FL, June 3rd 2003

The backstage passes through my nose, again, twice!! . But we got a pretty amazing sitting spot because we cheated and changed places, and went to sit on one side of the stage, above the crew. The security people went down to chase us but we said we were waiting for our backstage passes and they left us alone.

Sam saw me and came and said he was looking for me and asked me if my name was on the list. We didn't even check but my guess was that it wasn't. Then he said he was going to take care of us, but we saw him going up to some guy and his gesture was a no way entry. Then Sam said he couldn't do anything, but in his kindest attempt brought this very sweet girl (who later we'd found out her name was Sathari) who asked me if we were going to follow the tour the whole 3 weeks, so I said yes, and she asked me if I wanted backstage passes, and I said "that would be very nice". But then she went up to the same guy again and it got totally fucked for good. She never came back with any passes of any sort. What the hell...

It was an AMAZING GIG ,Anthony was so happy and making faces and laughing. Great mood.
I'm sorry but Snoop Dog is shit. And Geli was very offended by his misogynous lyrics.

I was hopingto see the Mars Volta, who were supposed to open for this part of the tour but yesterday talking to Nick the driver, he said they cancelled all the shows because Jeremy died. OD he said. That was really awful and sad to hear.

Flea got really pissed off at this dude who was being rude to a girl and literally told him he was a "fucking coward and a pussy" and that he should get the fuck out of the show. He was so angry, and everyone started clapping and cheering.

Anthony was unbelievable, he jumped over Flea and when he landed he rolled majestically over the floor.This was so much better than West Palm Beach, I think that indoors venues are the best for the Peppers. I love Anthony.

John kicked ass, it's really cool to see him contortion as if he were the Super Plastic Man. At the enchore, he went and sat on a corner for Under the Bridge and this blond chick touched the tip of his shoe, which he stretched so she could touch it. Sooo sweet!

Flea came back walking on his hands for the encore. They all were in such a great mood. I think Anthony is getting some physical problems, he doesn't jump as much as in the beginning of the tour, and he went to take the oxygen mask again several times and put his feet on top of a small stool. At the end of the show this guy from the crew was staring at me and I thought that he remembered me from Scandinavia, because I remembered his face, but I just don't know his name. He was so sweet, he came up to me and gave me the set list of the show, and again, without me even having to ask.

This is just getting worse and worse, what the fuck am I doing here? I'm exhausted, and I'm not even half way through. Tomorrow we're driving to Raleigh and we're meeting Beverly who is a beautiful lady who’s giving us shelter in her Charlotte home in the heat of this tour madness , so that's pretty exciting.

West Palm Beach, FL, June 2nd 2003

Note from the author: the scan of the ticket to come soon as I will need to scan it again.

Today it was my birthday and I day-dreamt of Anthony singing happy birthday Marilyn Monroe style.
The day started quite promising, we arrived early to the venue and we met the roadies just outside the backstage entrance. They were hanging around in their bycicles, enjoying the sunny Florida heat and talked to us for a bit and I asked them if they could find Dave for us. And that's how we met Nick, one of the drivers, and he's just so cool and funny.
We met Sam(the young-young video tech who remembered me from the airport in Sweden), and I have to say that he is defenitely the one enjoying all the royalties that being a roadie can give (in Stockholm he left the venue together with two mega blondes) .
Then Dave said he had heard I was out there and came out to greet us.

He was most definetely surprised to see me and he didn't seem to be too impressed about my stupid little present, although I brought a few gifts for the band and for some other crew members too. So I guess there went my backstage pass because we weren't in the guest list, although we were told by the other roadies that our names were going to be in it.

Maybe that got me down and that's why the show was the least I've ever enjoyed. I was standing in the VERY ass of the Sound Advice amphitheatre. What a crap venue! people with seats were all the way in the front and people with General Admission (like me) had to stand on a hill on the grass behind all those seating people.

Anyways, the best surprise of the show was "breaking the girl", then I cried to "I could have lied". So beautiful. Did I mention the venue was crap? And to extra crap me, something crawling in the grass bit me badly on my toe and kept itching all night long. I was just expecting a dog to pass by and pee on me.
Anthony introduced the "Kiedis colony", all of his family was there, then John said hello to his grandparents, and Anthony thanked John's grandpa for giving birth to John's dad, so he could give birth to John. How cute.
Blah

West Palm Beach, FL, June 1st 2003

From : Dave Lee
Sent : Monday, March 31, 2003 4:07 PM
To : *************

Subject : Hi Sweetie
Inbox

Hi Barbara,

It's me Dave Lee (Guy of John)

I'm home now and was just thinking about you.

I was trying to remember exactly what it was that you said to me when you said good bye to be at the airport. It was very nice.

I hope your having fun. Hope to see you soon,

Dave


The day after I was back to London I got an e mail from Dave Lee. I don’t even remember what I said when we were saying good bye at the airport. But it must have been nice. “Hope to see you soon. Hope to see you soon” It was an echo in my head. Hmmm.

So somehow, two months later I found myself in Florida with my friend Geli from Germany. How could I explain to my family and friends the fact that I came to the States to follow a rock band for 3 weeks? Not many people understood, and to tell the truth I didn't want to bother explaining.

Anyways, we arrived at the West Palm Beach International airport and went to the Avis Rental place. Man, we have such a nice car, air conditioning, but most importantly the vital CD player. The funniest thing was the man in the Avis desk. Such a sweet man, he was a black man around 50 years old. He asked us what were we doing in Florida all the way from Mexico, and I just replied: "Do you know the Red Hot Chili Peppers?" he said "The WHAT?". "The Red Hot Chili Peppers" I repeated. "Chili Peppers? Oh no madam, I never take that" and he rubbed his stomach.

I am so very tired, I don't know how I'm going to manage to do this for 3 entire weeks. I don't feel excited yet, it's strange. I just feel numb. The air is so heavy, hard to breath with all the humidity.

The whole morning was very hot and sunny and suddenly it started to get cloudy and next thing you know, there is this HUGE thunderstorm. It was pissing an Ocean. Geli and I were watching it sitting inside our Motel room and then I started feeling soooo happy that I jumped BAREFOOT into the thunderstorm and started jumping and dancing. It was such a feeling of freedom.

Then I was completely soaked and had a hot shower and changed my soaked clothes into dry ones. Then just like that, the sun came out again, the calm after the storm, and Geli and I relaxed drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, talking about our dreams and feeling the Sun in our faces till it went down.

Geli (left) and I re-arranging the world

I am nervous though, I don't know how they will react if they see me around again, and even more, when I tell them that I will be following the whole 2nd leg of the American tour. Maybe they think I'm a psycho fan. I am anxious. I want to vomit. I want to go back home. Did I actually completely loose it this time? Is my head completely fucked now? What am I really doing? Shit.

The schedule looks like this: Tomorrow the West Palm Bach show, then:

03 June 2003 Orlando

05 June 2003 Raleigh

06 June 2003 Charlotte

08 June 2003 Atlanta

11 June 2003 New Orleans

14 June 2003 Houston

16 June 2003 Dallas

21 June 2003Albuquerque, NM

That's 9 shows. But we're skipping some dates because I guess I'll need to rest from all the driving since Geli won't drive, and somehow I don't think it makes much sense, at least to me, to drive back and forth. I wonder who did this schedule, so we're skipping:

10 June 2003 Shreveport

13 June 2003 San Antonio

18 June 2003 Oklahoma City

20 June 2003 Denver

I wanted to go to Oklahoma but didn't get any tickets for that show, so no Oklahoma. Oh God...

Stockholm, Sweden, March 29th 2003

This entry is dedicated to the amazing little boys of Sweden with all my love (Olle, Erik, and specially that other one who's always in the pictures with me)

Jesus Christ. I just came back a couple hours ago from Stockholm and still I'm unable to believe it. I actually got backstage this time. My mother always said something like "where there's a will, there's a way". I guess that's how it really is.

Before I try to think how to make sense, I got another set list, I guess I can say now that I have a collection. There it is:
A song that I don't know and that Anthony and Flea dedicated again to two Polish girls (Flea tried to explain who they were and Anthony just cut him off saying "they know who they are")

And long long Jam which hey played along with all the Mars Volta. This was so cool they played all together and Chad let the other drummer play his RHCP drum while Anthony sat on the speaker to listen to it.

This gig was amazing. I was on the side of the stage and Anthony and the band walked right next to me, a meter away, when they jumped onto the stage.
It was unbelievable to be so close.

Me on stage, and Anthony getting ready to jump on it.

A few times Anthony laid down just 1.5 meters from where I was, in a pre-prepared "bed" (towels) to take the oxygen mask . But I wouldn't worry, the oxygen was there even before the concert started, it's just probably just something that he does to breath better.

Anthony leaving the stage

I met all of them except for Chad, although I saw him from a distance but I didn't talk to him.
After the concert I just went down the hall and John passed by very quickly with a dish of pasta I think, or something he was eating. Then, the whole hallway started clearing up and when it was more quiet, I approached John, but he didn't look as if he really wanted to talk, so I just said: I know you're tired but can we have a picture together, so he said yes, but I have to say he didn't seem too happy about it. But he did it anyways.

John looking funny and I

Next was Flea. OH MY GOD. What a fantastic human being. I approached him with this Swedish guys he had invited to the show and that me and my friend started chatting up. And I said, Hi, my name is Barbara, nice to meet you, and he shook my hand. Then he talked a bit to his guests (which was funny because he had just met them @ some place while he was shopping something 4 his girlfriend) and then he asked me where was I from, so I said Mexico and he asked me : "whereabouts" and I said Guadalajara, and he started speaking Spanish and he said that he had been there last time they played and it was a pretty place. I couldn’t contain my happiness. He said (in perfect Spanish) that he loves Mexico, and that he was flying to Costa Rica tomorrow. I told him that he should come to Mexico instead, and he said that Costa Rica is more quiet (which is right I guess)Then he asked what were we doing now (last night, that is), but I think he was more asking to his guests . Flea's guests were pretty cool guys and they told me and my friend that we should join. I talked a lot to Flea, well.. I guess in this case a lot is a bit more than 5 minutes. I told him that the show was great and he said thank you. I am so in love with the warmth of that man, I couldn't believe he was talking to me just like if I was anyone, because I felt like I was nobody there.

I love Flea, he's got the most intense blue eyes and he looks straight in the eyes when he talks to you and doesn't look away for a second. Am I dreaming? Then I also asked him for a photo, and he said, o.k. but I guess they don't like it much. But I have my picture with Flea too!

His Fleaness

And then his guests told us to join them to this club, and my friend wanted to go but I told him that I couldn't go without meeting... the man.

After meeting John and Flea, I had to wait for hours, or so seemed to me, to see him, because everyone was walking around, but not him. John became best buddies with the Mars Volta dude, his name is Omar, and they're like inseparable now, everywhere they seemed to be together. So I spoke a bit with the Mars Volta guys. They seemed to lighten up when I told them I was from Mexico and spoke with Omar in Spanish, he was so cute! Cedric can hide his beautiful blue eyes behind his afro style hair do but he can’t hide the fact that they are beautiful.

Anyways..... the hall was almost empty because they were kicking everybody out, saying there was nothing else to see, but the Tour Manager, whom I feel forever grateful to, came to talk to me and turns out he's Mexican, so we started speaking Spanish for a while. Everyone in the crew is fucking awesome, they're just like a big family, and they're all so kind... Anyways... I asked him if I could meet Anthony and he told me to come along. I walked next to a dark room which smelled like incense, but I had to pass by it and wait outside. I was just thinking, what am I going to tell him, shivering, unable to believe I was actually there, and I was talking to my friend when he said "he's right behind you", so I turned around and......................... There he was. So tiny and beautiful and holding three little carrots in his hand, he was biting one. I can't describe the power of his eyes...I just asked him if I could hug him, he said yes, so we hugged, and while we were hugging I kissed him in his cheek. I just couldn't help it, and when we let go, of a thousand things that I could have told him, with the most disgraceful kind of speech I could have ever pronounced, and with a breaking voice I asked him if he could have a picture taken with me and he said :" I have no time for everyone's pictures, but I enjoyed sharing this moment with you", and the manager said, that's true (in the nicest possible way). This is all so blurry. I need to wake up.

I also got one of John's plectrums that he uses to play, and on the back it has the rhcp star which Dave Lee, his tech, gave to me :

Just checking it out before the show

Next day at the Stockholm airport the surreal film I was on kept on playing. All the Peppers tech crew were in the same check-in queue I was at. And indeed we all boarded the same plane back to London. I got to speak some more with Dave and he’s a truly amazing guy. They got off in London to take their connecting flight to the US and I am now in London.

This must be a dream.