Young Kentucky Girl's tour diary

Backstage in Edmonton

2007-11-04T09:40:00.000-08:00

Edmonton, Canada, October 27th 2003 (e-mail to close friends)

2007-09-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

Subject:Damm
Sent:Monday,October 26th, 2003 8:48PM

When I got off bed this morning in Edmonton in a luxury room in a very nice hotel, I looked in the mirror in shock and I thought "Good Lord".
I am staying at the *********** hotel, same hotel the Peppers are staying at. It was this morning that I analyzed the situation after the events of last night. I went down to the lobby from the 6th floor where my room was. The elevator door opened to the marble tiles of the reception desk, and there was Louie, Flea and John Frusciante. I go up to Louie first thing and he seems happy to see me. So he hugs me and says "Barbara" and I completely forgot about Flea and John. Flea looks at me and says "good to see you again". He really meant it. And all I could say is "Is it?". I'm such an idiot sometimes.
Anyways, Louie forgot John and I already knew each other and introduces us, and John says hi, and I ask him "you don't remember me, do you?", and he says yeah, that I'm the girl that gave him the shirt and he apologized for how tired he was in June when we talked. What a sweet and amazing guy. He's such a child. So, they look like they're rushing and Louie says "We're going to the movies right now, do you want to come?" So next thing is that we're totally squashed in the taxi, I am in between John and Louie, Flea in the front seat and the girl who gave me the flight ticket to Canada for only 100 bucks, is on the other side next to Louie. We rush into the movie theatre and we go and see Kill Bill, the latest Tarantino movie. It was so great. Louie says we have to sit boy-girl-boy-girl-boy, so I sit in between John and Louie and Flea doesn't give a shit and sits in the row in front of us. And two very tall Edmontonians come and sit right in front of John and I, huge guys blocking the view, so John, logically, moves 10 sits to the left! It was so funny to see them watch the movie. Flea was screaming "holy shit" when the school girl was about to beat the shit out of the main actress whose name I just can't remember right now. The wife of Ethan Hawk. How could I forget her name... Anyways, at the end of the movie it was like being with small kids.The end credits start rolling and they sit fascinated watching them. And John points out to the screen and says "there he is", just like a little child, and I say "who?" and he says it's his lawyer. Louie comments how Hollywood people watch all the credits to see all of their friends names in the screen. So we take a cab back, after I had to stuck the enormous bag of pop corn up my ass because nobody wanted pop corn. So in the taxi Flea goes on how people in Japan are going to love that film because of the blond chick kicking ass. So I go up to the room, John is in the elevator with us, and we talked about something I can't remember, I step off on the sixth floor and he says "give me a hug" How sweet! I adore John, he's undescribably sweet. Then I want to go back because I have Flea's birthday present and Louie is coming down the hall. His room is just across ours, so he shows up into our room and then says that maybe we should go to his room because he might get phone calls. Of course all this time I was wondering where Anthony was, and as if Louie had read my mind he said that he stayed in Vancouver because he wasn't feeling well. But he's coming today. And then we hung out and I saw his kids pictures, such cute kids!, and drank water because he's a recovering alcoholic. So he asks how am I going to make it to Calgary next day and I say that I have no idea. So he says that they might be able to give me a ride, but he needs to ask the boys to see if that's fine with them. So then we all go to sleep. And I haven't seen Anthony yet. We're still in the hotel, the show will be in a few 6 hours. I can't wait. Heh, Louie said that John is not the most sexual person. How funny is that. Gotta go now. Barbie the girl

Subject: Re:Damm Sent: Monday, October 27, 2003 12:19 PM

Louie offered a ride to Calgary today. He called at 2 am to my room when I was sleeping, and then he says "oh, go back to sleep". Hmmm. Yesterday's show was incredible. Louie told me to wait in the hotel lobby at 5 before the show, so I figured, I am going to have a ride to the show. I did. I sat in John's and Anthony's tour bus (Flea goes in the other bus and Chad just flies) next to John who was lying on his bed playing the guitar and talking and telling me all kinds of nice things. It was like my own private JF serenade and it was rapture at its most. We entered the venue parking lot and there were this couple of girls with a "we love the RHCP" and started screaming like hysterical and John just bursted out laughing. Everyone laughed. When I arrived to the venue, Bill (the head of production) jumped all over me "What a fucking surprise Barbara!" (or something similar in a very funny Spanish). The guy hugged me like a puffy teddy bear, then it was Lisa, the production assistant, who I thought didn’t really like me. She was like "hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" and I just couldn't believe it. She was so nice, so I asked how her father was and she said that much better and thanked me for asking. Then we were just hanging out around, said hi to everyone and got fed. It's just so nice, I was going to buy something from the vending machine and Bill comes up and says "girl, girl, girl, there are plenty of drinks in the production office". Then he makes me come to his office and makes me sit to try his chair. It's a vibratig chair. Heh. Well, then I was inside the band's dressing room for a while but I decided to get out, and John comes after me and says "Barbara, you can stay here" but I tell him I've been around way too much, so he smiles and turns around. Anthony was going to arrive to the venue from the airport and I never saw him coming. But he was incredible at the show. It was such a good show. Today we're off to Clagary and Louie said he was going to ask the boys if it was ok to give me a ride. I can't believe it. And Flea is just a bit funny sometimes. Hmmm. Off to Calgary. Barbie the girl.

Next entry I will transcribe the bus conversation I had with John :)

To be continued.

Albuquerque, NM june 21st (final part)

2007-07-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

So as tempting as it was to remain in the bus the whole night, it was the last show of the tour and in spite of the exhaustion and AK's bed looking cozier than any other bed in the world we jumped out of the bus and hanged out in the heat awaiting the show.

It was a sad day. I was suffering from an emotional concoction of disbelief and excitement and exhaustion and early nostalgia of the times that were being and soon will no longer be. Sigh.
We laughed at Snoop's lyrics for the last time and spoke to his roadies for the last time. And while we were trying to figure out which side of the stage we would be taking I ran into AK while he was making his way to the stage, the show about to start, and he smiled to me and held eye contact and we both went our way.
We decided to take Flea's side for some reason because we were mostly always on John's side which is where most of the "side stage action" takes place.
It's on John's side that the band goes on stage and gets off, where Louie is standing watching over the band, bringing them their tea/water/towels/whatever they may need. This night there were barely any people sidestage.

So I think I didn't enjoy the show much and besides, something happened to Anthony's earpiece that he was pissed off most of the show to the point he just ripped it off and threw it away. I had never seen him that angry on stage before.
But to me the highlight of the show was almost at the end when Flea looks at me (I was standing quite close to Tracy, his tech) and he comes and stands right in front of me, staring at me in the eyes and plays his bass for me! He went on for like a minute or so, I think I was crying, it was such an incredible moment...
When the show was over they had built a big catering tent and had drinks inside for the crew and guests, so we went in to drink a little water and we just wanted to thank and say good bye to everyone who took such good care of us.
We sat down in one of these round tables and the girl sitting next to me asks me if we got the backstage passes through a contest or if we knew somebody, so I said we knew somebody. She had the same kind of passes we did so I asked her if she won hers and she said she knew somebody too, so I asked who and she said she was Flea's sister. That was sooo funny. She was such a sweet down to earth girl.
Then while I was speaking to her, Flea walks in with this Harry Potter plastic glasses on (he looked so cute!) and comes to talk to his sister who is standing near me. He's talking to her and when he spots me he introduces me to his sister and tells her that we've been going to all the shows.
He looks at me and asked me if I liked the show and then he says "Thank you for coming to all the shows". I couldn't have been more utterly elated. I love Flea. I wanted to hug him for ever and ever and forever more. I think I told him "thank you for the music" or some cheesy/lame line like that. Then I was wondering whether his glasses had erm… well… glass but it was just the plastic frame and then he told me that they were Harry Potter glasses because the book had just come out and he asked me if I knew Harry Potter, so I said I did and he told me that his daughter loved it. What happiness. Then he gave me a hug before he kept talking to his sister.
After that, Louie came over and had a little talk with him too and said they were leaving in the afternoon next day.
Then we left the tent and I saw Anthony, almost in the shadows, getting on his bus. He wasn't part of all that "after show festivity" in the catering zone, he didn't even walk in there, just took his food into his bus.

Next day Geli and I were at the Albuquerque airport on our ways home. Geli was going to spend some Summer days in California and I was going back home to Mexico. We saw Gage standing in the drop-off area and went to talk to him. He was waiting for Chad and Anthony. When they arrived Chad and Gage went into the airport and Anthony came over. Can't really remember what he said, but he looked just so beautiful. He went up to Geli and said to her "oh, come on give me a hug" and Geli, German as she is, gave him this semi-‘I’m-not-bothered-hug.

Then he hugged me. He held me long in his arms and I do remember I was hugging tight and sincerely. Oh my God.
No words can describe that moment.

I said the deepest thank you very much I could have ever pronounced, close to his ear while we were still hugging.
Then we went through the security scan and they held Gage, Chad and Anthony in a room and the airport police was inspecting their laptops. That was weird. As I was crossing the metal detector they made me take my sandals off! and when I was on the other side Anthony asked me if I was hiding some potential Mexican weapon in my shoes. I laughed a lot and we continued walking and talking until he said he had to wait for Gage and Chad who were still in that room.
I told him I had to go and made my way to my gate.
I sat down in the waiting area in my gate and observed them walking around the airport, just like average people. Nobody noticed them and I was quite shocked because I thought people were going to jump on them. Only 3 teenagers who walked past them noticed and one of the girls was noticeably excited and went up to say hello to them. And that was that. I was numb for the longest time, sort of in an emotional comatose state. Then the nothing.

When I got home, after a couple of days of plain rotting on the couch in a rather "this really didn't happen" state of mind, I got an e mail from Geli. She said she and Louie and John were in the same flight to California, and she finished her e mail saying "and guess what John was wearing"...
After that I kept on rotting in the couch for another month or so, wondering how was I supposed to live my life the way I lived it before after living it through all of this.

To this day, this experience as a whole remains one of the most intense moments of my existence, one of those things that make life so worth living and just so passionate and exhilarating that drive your heart mind and soul to the edge of a blissful insanity , up and down from the south hemisphere of the Earth to the next contiguous galaxy and back times 11 and through all these materialized angels and human entities, sharing it all, the joy, the absolute happiness and delirious anxiety and even the lowest of lows where you sweat life from each and every pore of your body. I will never forget.

And still not over.

To be continued...

News

2007-05-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

ANTHONY IS GOING TO BECOME A DADDY!!!!!

Albuquerque, NM, june 21st (part 5)

2007-05-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

So many things happened in Albuquerque...
So, before even getting to talk to John, we were on the bus with Anthony just before he went to get his Ozone. He was wearing a white tank top and grey shorts and flip flops. He seemed much different than the day before. Even his facial expression was different and he looked at me from head to toes.
"You´re wearing a see through" he said with a strange look.
"What?" I thought.
I was wearing a knit-army-green-long-sleeve-jumper that had some holes in it which made it a bit transparent. I was wearing a jumper in a very hot weather and a long denim skirt and knee length boots.
After 3 weeks road tripping America, it was the only clean pieces of clothing I had left. That and my underwear. I think I told him that it was the ventilation system of my jumper, to which he asked why was I wearing a sweater in such weather. I told him that when we left Colorado it was cold (and in fact I had been cold during the night) and I thought it was a better answer than saying I didn´t have any other clean clothes anyways.
"Don´t you check the weather channel?" he asked.
I didn´t reply to that. We woke up at 7 am, had a quick shower, 3 coffees and drove for 6 hours from Denver Colorado to Albuquerque, New Mexico. It didn´t cross my mind to check the weather in Albuquerque to pick my clothes even if I had any clean items left.
I seemed to be pretty wrapped up and he seemed to be very inquisitive about it.
Ever since, I have only told this to my friend Geli since she went through all of this with me, but for a long time I suspected Mr. Kiedis wrote "Eskimo" inspired in our encounters during that tour. In the lyrics he mentions the people and things we talked about, like Jesus Christ, Bush, the literature references (Oscar Wilde, but we talked about another Bristish poet, William Blake) the busted knee bit, and the most obvious reference to my homeland "somewhere in Mexico".

Right after this day in Albuquerque, the Chili Peppers would go home to L.A. and work during the Summer in a couple of songs to put out with their Greatest Hits album later in the Autum, and eventually, would release the single "Fortune Faded" with two B sides, one of which was "Eskimo". So when I got myself with a copy of the "Fortune faded" single and heard the lyrics to Eskimo my heart almost jumped out of my chest. The timing of the release made sense to me to think the lyrics might have something to do with our conversations. I have never found out surely though because I'm uncertain of when they actually recorded the song.

Back to the tour bus, "Round 2" was a little bit of a shock for me. Although my friend Geli did warn me a couple of weeks before that "guys talk" just like we girls do, I never really thought of Anthony as a "regular guy" for whatever reason, but the truth is that he's as much of a guy as the guy next door, and indeed, like Geli said, "Guys talk too". Anthony knew what I had been talking about and who I had been talking to on the tour, and I was in disbelief when he enquired about me talking in Spanish to his tour manager. I just couldn't help laughing. I had this hilarious/amusing mental picture of a world famous mature rockstar gossiping in a totally teenage style with the guys around about "the girl doing the documentary" and how she said something to Louie in Spanish. It made my entire year.

I asked him what he was going to do when he went home.
"I am going home and the first thing I'm gonna do is kiss my dog, he's gonna jump all over the place like a big freak, he's 105 pounds and he gets about this high off the ground, just pshhh, and then I'm gonna go swimming in my pool which is clean with ozone instead of chlorine, just like me, and then I'm going to visit my friends and ride my vespa, my motor scooter, and go to my favorite eating holes"
B: What kind of food?"
AK: Real food. Real living food. So I'm going to do that and then I'm going to settle in the comfort of my own bed, my own pillows and my own sheets.

At a point I was so incredibly exhausted I kind of lost my will to ask any questions and just let the conversation go wherever it might, but he did all the asking then. He asked if we "have sugar daddys" and "who is funding your operations and paying for your femenine products" and just kept having a laugh about pretty much everything. He asked if we were sharing the driving and if we had strange tendencies whilst driving long distances in a small vehicle and all that silliness of the sort.
This time we didn't have as much time to talk, but then the most amazing and unexpected thing happened as he was ready to leave. "OK, I'm gonna go and do my thing. You're all welcome to stay here, the door will be locked so you'd be here the whole night but... you might want the rest"

To be continued.

Some Denver pictures (june 20th 2003)

2007-05-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

I've always thought this set of photographs have a sort of papparazzi feeling to them.

It was such a sunny and beautiful day but what I remember clearly was me feeling freezing cold. Mr. Kiedis was beyond any coolness I could have ever possibly imagined.

Albuquerque, NM, june 21st 2003 (part 4)

2007-04-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

JF: I just don't want to listen to that album
B: You don't.
JF: I know how it would sound to me, it would sound totally unbalanced, you know, despite Rick Rubin's balanced production and Flea's talented song writing and all that I know that Dave Navarro, as far as just a band chemistry they were just off balance because I'm the one that by me being in the band puts that balance there between the four of us. I'm extra sensitive to how off that was with Dave Navarro, you know, it's just... it was off. (looking at me and smiling widely) Sorry.

B: OK (laughing)
JF: I mean, I'm not putting it down, it's just like what I said about God, it's like, if you like that album I'm glad you like it for you, you know, but I don't have to...
B: No! I just really, really wondered, I mean the thing is that I feel like there's a very, very special chemistry between Chad, Flea you and Anthony that has no comparison, and and then it felt like... for instance her (pointing at my friend Geli) she can tell you because she was like "I love this album" she loves, like... I have to tell you she wasn't really...she's is not really into the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Geli: Now I am, now I am.
JF: (looking at me) What does she like?
B: (at Geli) What do you like?
JF: You are because of this tour?
G: I am because of this tour.
JF: Oh because of this tour.
B & G: Yeah
G: I think the singles aren't exactly the best songs on the albums, you know what I mean?
JF: Yeah
G: Like the stuff you hear on the radio is not the best of the album.

JF: Yeah...my friend Ian was saying that to me recently, he was saying it's kind of like... you have that sometimes when good people are popular, what they're known for isn't really what they're best at, you know, I guess that's just the way it is when you're dealing with the masses (he laughs) but it doesn't bother me because for the people who go after... That's how I am, I'm always a big fan of B sides, you know
G & B: Yeah!
B: They're the best.
JF: To me the B sides that we had after slash record so far, I like them better than anything on the record, you know, and the other B sides I think I like even better than those, and that's how I am with Nirvana, with Nirvana it's the same thing I don't like their hit songs and they're one of my favorite bands and, like "Smells like teen spirit" is the only hit song that there is that I really love a lot and mostly the songs that I really love of them were like, B sides and you know, songs that were hidden in albums and stuff, same thing with Oasis and same thing with REM.
B: You like Oasis?
JF: Mmhmm, but I especially like B sides where there's more than their records. (Sighs) I don't like their new record. I liked the first couple of records.
B: I really never liked them.
JF: Yeah. I don't blame you.
B: I just don't...
JF: No, I don't blame you.
B: I just think their personalities are something...
JF: Yeah, you're right, you're right.
B: ...awful. Maybe I'm wrong because I really don't know them personally...
JF: No you're right, they're idiots. But they write some good songs.
(I laugh)
They're idiots with good songs.
B: They're always like fighting and I think they're just trying to make a show out of...
JF: You're preaching to the choir.
B: hmm?
JF: You're preaching to the choir, I agree with you but I still think they've written some good songs.
B: Have you been to Mexi... you have been to Mexico but have you seen anything about Mexico?
JF: Not really.
B: No? Not a place that really fascinates you...
JF: Not really, but I'm just not like that, I'm not a person who is into places, you know, I like my living room, to me that's the place that I'm the most fascinated with and if I can get a recording studio together that'll really be the place that I'm the most fascinated with, you know, I'm not the kind of person who goes on a vacation or goes visits a place.
B: Sorry, there's an ant in your pants
JF: You wanna know about my scars... Oh an ant (he flicks the ant).

B: So you just like your living room.
JF: Yeah, and recording...
B: ...Music.
JF: Yeah, I like wherever me and my guitar and my cds and my records are.

Coming back

2007-04-19T16:37:00.000-07:00

I am flying back to the UK today as I've been 3 amazing weeks in Australia. Beautiful country. I only went to the Peppers shows in Adelaide, one in Melbourne and one in Sydney and the rest of the time I traveled to really beautiful nature places like the Whitsunday Coast, Fraser Island and the red centre. Anyways, I'll be coming back home and finish the John conversation. Finally!

Love,
me

Albuquerque, NM, june 21 2003 (part 3)

2007-03-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

B:There's a question you might not like but I'm just really really curious.
JF:Yeah
B: Why aren't you playing any One Hot Minute songs?
JF: Why, because you like that album a lot?
B: No, I'm just really wondering, not because I like that particular album, it's just something that I've been really wondering
JF: Right, well, I've never listened to the album. What I have heard I didn't like.
B: What did you hear?
JF: Like, the songs on the radio I heard like, whatever the singles were, I know there was a couple points when I was in the car and I heard it on the radio
I guess I heard the fast one and I heard "My friends". The fast one "Warped", is that what it's called?
B: Yeah, that was the fast one.
JF: So, you know, I don't like either of those songs when I heard them and nobody seems to be offended by that I don't like them, they don't seem to be so
crazy about the album themselves, and you only got so much time on the set to play your music and you know (smiling) maybe if the set was like 50 hours long
I'd do a One Hot Minute song, and the thought for me of me going up there and playing Dave Navarro's guitar parts is just a joke. I mean, not that they'd
expect me to... they'd say you know, do your own thing, you don't have to do what he's doing but like, I don't wanna hear it, you know, I mean you don't
wanna look at your ex boyfriend having sex with somebody... if you got back together with your boyfriend would you wanna see pictures of him having sex
with the girl he was with before you? in between? (smiling so much)
B:Not really! (laughing)
JF: Well, I guess that's how it is for me, I just don't want to listen to that album (laughs)

NOTE: This interview still continues and I am sorry it's taking me so long to post the whole thing.
Right now I have to catch my plane, I am flying to Australia for some shows there. I'll see you there Aussies!! Sorry I left it unfinished again. I promise the rest is really worth the wait.

Bye!!

BACK FROM VACATION

2007-03-11T15:29:00.000-07:00

Dear silent people from Hungary, Croatia, Australia, the long and wide USA, China, Japan, Philipines, Denmark, Finland, Sweden. France, Brasil, Canada, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Korea, Spain, Portugal, Serbia and Montenegro, Lithuania, Poland, and of course my dear UK which is my home now:

I'm on holiday so I won't be blogging for a couple of weeks. Tomorrow I'll be on a remote tiny beautiful island of white sandy beaches, turquoise waters and mind blowing calmness in my Mexican homeland with barely no communication, no banks or cash machines and I imagine not much internet access, and even if there was, well, I don't want to spend my days in paradise sitting on a computer. I'll be wearing my sombrero, flip flops, and sun glasses, and a lot of mosquito repelent. I'll be back last week of this month with the rest of the John conversation (sorry I couldn't finish it before going) and the best moments and photographs of my tour experience with the most amazing rock band in this planet and this galaxy and beyond.

Bless all of you.

Much love.

Albuquerque, NM june 21st 2003 (part 2)

2007-03-09T05:57:00.000-08:00

B: I’m sorry about the expression but when I see you on stage I feel like you’re having orgasms when you play your guitar and I think it is amazing how you keep on studying and studying music.

JF: Yeah well I guess at a certain point I practiced guitar so much when I was a kid, at a certain point I feel like to practice and to get better became something that was effortless, it didn’t feel like something that was a job or it didn’t feel like something that was a chore ever since I first started getting better at learning songs and stuff, practicing is as flowing of a thing as I guess sex is supposed to be you know, for me, I get more of those kind of feelings from playing guitar than I do in real life, like, at a certain point I became so united with the guitar that I feel like that’s… me and my relationship with music that’s the kind of sexual activity that I can really enjoy, you know. In real life there’s so much other stuff attached, it doesn’t even come close to how it is when playing music, so I guess that’s why it looks like that because that is what it is in a lot of ways.

B: How do you picture yourself ten years from now?
JF: Ten years from now?
B: ok, five
JF(smiling beautifully): Ten’s ok , I’m fine with ten.
B: Ok maybe that’s too far away because I don’t even see myself then.
JF: I can’t say though, like I don’t really have any answer for that . Some times I have images of myself but it’s really hard to say, I know what I’m gonna be doing tomorrow and I know what I’m gonna be doing the day after that, even that is kind of a stretch, but it’s too hard to say as far as… ‘cause you’re always wrong anyways when you say stuff like that , I notice whenever I tell people what my plans are for August…
B: Yeah, tomorrow you were flying to DC and now you’re not.
JF: Yeah, yesterday I would have told you I was going to DC and now I’m not, so it seems like the degree towards that is just even more so when you’re talking about five years from now or ten years from now, I really can’t say and I’m not a person who has goals either, you know , I have projects, you know, right now I know I wanna record all these songs that I’ve written up till now and all the ones that I really like, I really wanna do that, I really wanna put together a studio so I can not have to pay for studio time and studios and I can have my own place, that’s a project that I have before me, but I have no idea and I wouldn’t want to put any kind of demand on ten years from now, I’m not one of those people who says “I wanna have this amount of money in this time” …
B: I was more wondering if you saw yourself still making music and do what you’re doing now
JF: It’s very hard for me to imagine being alive without making music, it’s hard for me to imagine enjoying life without making music, anything’s possible but it seems very unlikely to me and I just hope that as I get older I can get music that’s suitable for whatever period of my life it is, like, if I’m 60 years old I wanna be making music that’s much more abstract and I don’t want to be one of these guys, you know, trying to pretend like they’re 20 when they’re 60, you know what I mean, I don’t want to go for some time with a false image of myself , I wanna be making music that’s more abstract and that’s not pop music, I don’t see myself making pop music at 60 unless I’m a producer or something, even then it’s hard to imagine .For me the idea of slowing down it’s kind of… and I know that happens to people when they get older.
B: I know that you’ve been jamming together with the guys from the Mars Volta, there seems to be a great chemistry there. I heard you were hanging out together in Stockholm.
JF: Yeah well, they’re my friends , in the last year or so I became really good friends with Omar the guitarist of the Mars Volta, we have those moments together that only two guys with guitars can understand, you know, where we’re up till 5 or 6 in the morning talking and playing our guitars together and stuff and we’ve developed a closeness that’s based around that so, he sometimes comes on stage with us and I went up on stage with them in New York at the last show that they did with Jeremy who died. I’m very sad about Jeremy dying, he was a great artist to me, his role in the band was a feminine role and then every instrument and Cedric’s vocals were going through him and he was playing more a feminine role and the band… he did it from out in the audience and nobody was looking at him, they look at the stage and himself was looking at the stage and it was kind of a thankless job in a way but some people do well in not having to be in the spotlight anyways but I’m sad about him being dead but I’m glad that they’re gonna go on playing and stuff. But it was fun we got to do two tours with them when Jeremy was alive and that was a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to seeing Omar when I get home. He wants to show me this movie…
B: Which movie?
JF: El popo, is that what it’s called?
B: El popo?
JF: Topo, el topo!
B: Ah, El topo. He wants to show you that?
JF: Yeah
B: Why?
JF(grinning): He loves it, he thinks it’s great.
B: Have you seen any other Mexican films?
JF: Yeah, I’m a big fan of Luis Buñuel, so I’ve seen all his Mexican movies that he made.
B: He’s Spanish though
JF: Yeah he’s Spanish but he made movies in Mexico for a long time, he didn’t make many movies in Spain and he made a few in France but mostly he made movies in Mexico and I like those movies a lot.
B: which ones?
JF: I’ve seen Nazarin,
He tries to remember the name of another of his films…
JF: I’m spacing out, I can’t remember…
B: Have you seen the one he did with Dali?
JF: Un chien Andalou? Andalutian dog ?
B: Did you like it?
JF: I think it’s great, yeah.
B : I really enjoyed that movie.
JF: (still trying to remember)… I like that movie a lot, I have a poster in my house, but I must be tired, I can’t believe I’m spacing out on the name…
B: you don’t remember.
JF: It’s just, I’m very tired, I’m drawing a blank and the camera isn’t making it easier.
B: You don’t like cameras?
JF: No, when you’re stuck though, and you’re having a blank and you know that everybody is watching and you look like an asshole ‘cause you mention the director and you can’t name his movies, right?
We laugh
B: It’s really hot now. Are you warm?
JF: I’m ok… (smiling beautifully) Susana, El Bruto.
B: huh?
JF: I’m just naming Buñuel movies.
I laugh
How do you feel when you go on stage and all these people are just going wild?
Good, it feels good. I used to really separate myself from the audience, you know, I used to like, to turn my back and face my amplifier or face Chad and just closed my eyes get into my head. I still do those thing but for me what’s become more important than that is the connection and the exchange with the audience, you know, playing for the audience, trying to let them know that I’m trying to send some good feelings and some love in their direction and stuff, and they’re reciprocating, the feelings that I get from them are very important to me, you know. When I first joined the band it seemed that it was very much a matter of impressing the audience and I was 18 years old and I was thinking more in terms of impressing the audience which is really a dead end because technically nobody really wants to watch somebody who’s trying to prove something to them or…the best kind of state of mind you can be in as a performer is to not really care what anybody thinks of you , you know, and to do what’s best for yourself, so then I had the period of only playing for myself and nobody else and I would say I learnt a lot during that period but you can’t really go on doing that for that long because it gets boring because when you’re the only person that you’re playing for, you become similar to a tree falling in the woods with no one around to hear it, your playing doesn’t actually exist in the world the way that music… it’s almost like your music is half empty at that point and I felt myself getting more and more emptied out by only playing to myself and that was when I quit the band, after that, that was my solution to that .And since I joined again, fans have been so nice with sort of accepting me back, making me feel like there’s a place for me in the world and make me feel like people care about me and that’s inspired me to gradually feel more and more like they’re as much of a part of the music as we are, you know, and when I go out and when I hear the noise they make or when I see the smile on their faces it makes me feel so happy inside and I just wanna give every bit of energy I have inside me to them. It really has become an important part of my life to have that exchange with an audience, of really giving myself to them and really getting what they give back to me, you know, so yeah, it’s a good feeling.

Albuquerque,NM, june 21st 2003

2007-03-06T19:42:00.000-08:00

I couldn´t get any sleep after the Denver show. I was lying in bed wondering if everything had been a dream. Anthony´s words kept echoing over and over in my head.
We drove to Albuquerque on the last show day. We were supposed to meet Anthony early at the venue for the "round 2".
I lost probably around 4 kilos on those 3 weeks, that has to be one of the many side effects of eating gas station food.
The coffee at the gas stations though, was a different thing. We got addicted to the French Vanilla coffee in the Shell´s stations.
My sun tan was gone, and in spite of having been so close to Anthony, the emotion of the beginning of the tour was fading. I was too tired.

We arrived to New Mexico and eventually Albuquerque. One of the ugliest places I have ever seen. The venue was in fuck´s end, at the top of a dry, dusty and dead bit of land in the middle of the desert. Geli was freaking out. We drove through Albuquerque running into prohibition after prohibition and threats upon the law breaking. We were kind of scared of being there.
We got off the car and started walking down to the venue. As we were descending the hill approaching the backstage access a little golf cart came over and picked us up and drove us into the backstage area. That was proper VIP treatment

The band weren´t there yet and we needed to find a good place to drink a beer in the shade because it was a really hot day and the sun was burning everything underneath it, including my brain.
Somebody from the Snoop crew walked by and we said hi. We were pretty familiarized with everyone, even Snoop´s crew. The guy, whose name I can´t even remember asked us if we wanted to check out his tour bus. It sounded a bit dodgy,not to say REALLY dodgy, but we couldn´t stand under the sun one more minute because the beer would get warm. Plus I was very curious to see their buses.
It turned out that Snoop´s people were pretty nice guys too. Geli and I sat in there, and they even lent Geli a nail clipper because she broke a nail or something. They were really funny. Another guy came into the bus with some merchandise t shirts and there seemed to be some problem with them.

Geli and I got really excited because by the end of this tour, we ended up really loving Snoop´s crappy music. We had to. Either that or shoot ourselves in the ass after listening to him one night after the other. I loved to see Geli lip synching to Snoop´s speech. I just loved it, it was really hilarious. The t-shirts were printed with Snoop´s coolest lyrics "Smoke weed, get drunk and fuck". We sooo wanted a t shirt. We asked them if we could have one and they were happy to give us one. But suddenly the RHCP buses arrived and we just jumped off very quickily. Sorry Snoop's people. And we forgot our free t shirts .

We waited for more than 10 minutes. Flea saw me from the distance and waved at me. Geli and I were sitting under the sun, checking out this and that when John came close to where we were and just stood there leaning against a wooden pole. There was nobody else there.

"Hi John" I said. He said hi and smiled as wide as the universe.

There is something incredibly unique about John´s smile that makes you want to protect him from all the evilness of the world.
"Are you the girls making the documentry?" he asked.
"Aren´t we the popular ones" I thought. Even John knew about us! We hadn´t talked to him at all during the whole tour. I didn´t think people would be talking about us (think again)
"Yes we are" I said.
"Do you want me to be in it". John said.
"Bloody fuck". I thought. "Would you mind?" I said

John is a true angel walking our Earth and I love him. Not that Anthony wasn't what I expected him to be, he was absolutely wonderful and more, but for a long time after all this insanity I wished it was John I had fallen in love (or whatever that feeling was)with . He's the kind of man that can bring sunshine to your heart in the stormiest day.

We sat down on that sunny day to have a little chat:

B: ...(we must have been talking about films before) have you seen happiness?
John (trying to clip his microphone): what am I doing wrong? …no I haven’t seen happiness… is it ok if the microphone is inside, you think?…
Geli: yeah…
B: Is it?
JF: I don’t know…I think it should be like this (he clips it to his shirt) even though it doesn’t look right.

B: I’m going to fix it...

B: So you haven't seen happiness, that's a very strong and sad movie.

So, how are you, are you very tired?

JF: I’m tired. I’ve been working really hard for the last couple of years. I haven’t really taken any breaks…I can’t remember…I guess the last time I wasn’t really doing anything was a few months before we started writing BTW and then I went on a solo tour for my solo record and then the day I got home we started writing BTW and I’ve been working all through that and the second I had a spare moment I started recording my solo record and I did that during all my breaks
B: But you’re doing one solo album right now, aren’t you?
JF: Well, I finished the one that I was working on and that’s coming out in September and now if I do recordings is not for an album, it’s just to record my songs because I wanna have all my songs recorded, it’s my goal to have all my songs recorded, you know, ‘cos I have a lot of songs, they’re just in notebooks until I can record them in a studio and I just feel like it’s my responsibility as a song writer to record everything that’s good that I write, so.
Geli: What do you mean by that though, so people won't be able to buy that stuff?
JF: For me at the moment that part is secondary because there’s already an album that people can buy but what’s more important for me is just that I know that with my life that I’ve done the best that I can do that I know I’ve used my time well. To have a bunch of songs and then to sit around and not record them to me just seems like not doing your function as a person, so people buying it will take care of itself , but me recording it is something that I have to do to in order to make anything happen, so… I was gonna go record a few songs in DC tomorrow but I changed my mind at the minute, I’m gonna do it another time because I feel all the time now the way I usually feel at the end of the day after recording for 12 or 14 hours, that’s how I feel now when I wake up, so I’m gonna give myself a couple of weeks of just sitting around my house I think it’ll do me some good and then I don’t have to take a break for another couple of years.
B: What makes you happy most in life?
JF: What makes me happy?.. hmm…well, Anthony makes me happy, Flea makes me happy, my friends all make me happy and I’m happy when Chad is beating the hell out of his drums while we’re on stage, I’m happy listening to the Incredible String Band, and I’m happy listening to Fairport Convention. Led Zeppelin makes me happy, music, and Godard movies.
B: Dark movies?
JF: Godard movies, Jean Luc Godard movies.
B: Oh, have you seen Breathless?
JF: Yeah
B: How did you like that?
JF: It’s great
B: Which one is your favorite?
JF: I think… band of outsiders! Band of outsiders, I personally like any of the B&W ones though.
B: I love Breathless that’s my favorite
JF: I like Anna Karina a lot, she’s not in breathless, so I prefer the ones that she’s in.

B: You spend a lot of time studying music don’t you?
JF: You mean when I was a kid?
B: No, all the time, all I hear from you is that you’ve been listening to African music, South American music, you know, music from everywhere…
JF: Yeah I’m always trying to find out about new music, from my stand point I think the Earth is a really incredible place, the amount of music that there is, is amazing you know, you can go your whole life obsessing on music and still be finding out about new stuff when you’re 60 years old , 70 years old, it seems like there is an infinite amount of music here right now and to me any planet that gets it together to make that much beautiful stuff for your senses and for your ears and stuff is really doing a good job. A lot of people complain about the planet and complain about things but I don’t think you’d get that much beautiful things if there wasn’t an ugliness on the other side of it. I think anything that’s ugly in the world has to be there to make as much beautiful things as there is in the world, that seems really obvious to me and I feel really grateful to be living this life, it’s a good planet.
B: Do you believe in God?
JF: I believe in the lack of such questions, I don’t think there’s any reason for… for me in my life I have no place for any sort of image of God. I appreciate that other people do, and for them I’m glad that their God is there for them but for me is like when I drive through the country I look out the window of the bus and I see all these houses and I know that every single house is the centre of the universe for the people who live there, they think that house is being the center of the world and for them it is the center of the world but at the same time it doesn’t mean that everybody else’s houses are also the center of the world, it’s a bunch of things at once and to me that’s what God is, it’s one thing for one person, it’s another thing for another person, and another thing for another person times the whole world. Everybody in the world who has the need to have a God to believe in or to be faithful to or whatever their reasons are, I personally don’t have a place for it in my life, so lucky me.
B: What do you think it’s the most beautiful place you’ve been to?
JF: The most beautiful place I’ve been to?
B: Can you mention one?
JF: It’s hard to say, as far as nature goes I’ve been to really beautiful places like Costa Rica and Big Sur, California, Australia, I’ve seen really beautiful nature places like that but I like to see like just nice architecture, nice shades of buildings and stuff, I like walking down the street in Vienna, I have good memories of being in Vienna, Austria.
B: I’ve heard so many things about Vienna but I’ve never been there
JF: It’s a nice place, (grinning wonderfully and continuously) it’s the kind of place you can imagine just stopping everything, getting yourself a little apartment, smoking hash all the time, living café life
(we just laughed)
B: How about London? We lived there for some time, how do you like London.
JF: I like London. It’s a nice place, so much music that I love comes from London or from England, I really like it there just because of that alone it makes me think it’s a great place.
Geli: You’re going to England next right? Where are you going in England?
JF: V Festival
Geli: Where is that?
JF: It’s a couple hours away from London.
Last time I was in London I had a good time because I got to record with one of my heroes, Brian Eno.
B: who?
JF: Brian Eno
B: Ohhhh Brian Eno, he’s the U2 producer, isn’t he?
JF (grinning) : That’s what he’s known for now but that’s not what I think when I meet him
We both laugh
B: You don’t like U2?
JF: I li… U2 is fine but for me my image of Brian Eno goes back to when I was like 11 years old before he ever… before U2 existed.
B: But most of his work now is based on U2?
JF: No, he makes his living from U2, but he does work on other than U2 solo records, collaborations with people, museum installations, the way I think of him is the producer of the three best Talking Heads albums, he was in the band Roxy Music, and he’s made tons of incredible solo records and he produced Ultravox and he’s just always been a really inventive person, he’s always been inspirational to me, and for me he’s made some of the most ground breaking records that have ever been made so it’s always nice when you can hear those.
B: What do you listen to lately?
JF: I listen to different things for different reasons and different times, I mean, if it’s a nice sunny day and I’m gonna drive to the grocery store or something I like to put on the album Slade Alive!, the live album by the group Slade which I think is one of the most powerful live albums that anybody ever did, there’s something about driving in the daytime on a sunny day that really makes me feel great, but if it’s night time and I’m just relaxing I could put on an album by this guy called John Hassel which is also something that was a collaboration with Brian Eno called “Dream theory in Malaya”, that’s a good album for mellowing out and relaxing, letting your brain go wherever it might. But I have a huge record collection, I listen to different things for different reasons

To be continued.

Denver, CO (VOL IV)

2007-03-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

Anthony asked me to remove his microphone because he had to go, which I kindly did. We got off the bus and Anthony was going to get his Ozone. He was even going to let us in there but he asked Sathari and she said no. I guess because the ozone treatment is still illegal in some parts in the US.

The funniest thing happened when we were hanging out around the backstage entrance. The band travel in their tour buses except for Chad who is flying to all the venues due to special circumstances. So Chad flies on show day and is driven to the venue. When he arrived to this venue, he was walking very self assured into the backstage area and the security woman asked him to show her his pass. I could not believe it! Chad said "I'm the drummer of the band!" I wanted to laugh so much. The woman turned around to ask us wether that was true or not. That was hilarious. "Yeah, he's the drummer" and she let him in. I think he was a little bit shocked but he was laughing too. Bless his soul.

I can't remember what the show was like. But I think it was good :Blackie was backstage with James, Anthony's brother.

Right after the show Geli and I waited for Anthony at his request. We stood outside his tour bus and waited for him to come out. I will never ever forget the way he looked at me. He was walking up the steps and he was staring at me in the eyes as he kept walking. And he was smiling at me. It was a very subtle smile. He didn´t look anywhere else or stopped smiling.

"We came to say good night".I told him
He asked if we were heading back to our hotel. And we kept looking at each other´s eyes. Right behind him was Louie. ¨But you´re coming to Albuquerque tomorrow, right?¨said Louie. And that´s when the eye contact got broken.

What happened in round 2 was the last thing I would have ever expected. It was round 2 where he knocked me out, and eventually happily enlightened, I realized of the whole and unavoidable ultimate truth: Anthony Kiedis is just another man. Woaw.

DENVER, CO (VOL III)

2007-02-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

We just talked and I started feeling more and more comfortable in spite of the uncomfort and ice sweatiness of being in front of most beautiful, intelligent, witty and charismatic man I had ever met. He seemed to be having a good time, sometimes with me, most of the time out of me.
But I didn’t care because making him laugh and seeing him laugh even if he was making fun of me was the most soul warming sensation I’ve ever felt right up to that moment. I felt it from the very surface of my skin, through the blood stream bombing my heart, to the very bottom of the structure of my bones. That silly non sense conversation was an ultimate spirit triumph.

We were both laughing when he must have realised that we had been there for about 20 minutes and I wasn’t asking anything that seemed important, or related to his work, nor the band. So he asked.
AK: So what did you really want to know, what were you thinking of asking me?
B: the truth?

AK: the truth
B: I never thought of asking you anything, I just wanted to talk to you, like we are now.
AK (smiling): Ok, that’s fine.
B: I was trying to come up with some questions but there was really nothing I wanted to ask you, just like, have a talk.
AK(smiling): I got you. I love my panther head.
Two nights before, in Oklahoma City, I had given him a Mexican handcraft made by a Mexican Indian tribe called huicholes. The hand craft is made of really colourful little stones, forming ethnic patterns and it was a beautiful piece of art with the shape of the head of a panther.

He really loved it and I tried to explain to him the origin of that and about the Indians and their costumes and traditions.
B: Have you ever heard of the route of peyote*? (*peyote is a cactus type of plant with hallucinogenous/psychotropic properties which these Indians eat in a ritual to communicate with their Gods and have hardcore hallucinations.)
AK: The route of peyote?… Are you talking about Don Juan and his faithful side kick?
B: No, I’m not talking about that, no.
AK: Carlos Castaneda?
B: Carlos Castañeda? No, I’m not talking about him either.
AK: You just want to get fucked up, on peyote?
B: what me? No, I’m asking you if you know about the rituals they do…
AK (biting his index finger): Ohhhhhhhh . (he makes a really funny confused expression) Is that when they blow it up their nose?
B (now making fun of him*) : Yes (*they eat it, not blow it up their nose. actually, you can’t blow a cactus up your nose)
AK: Is it?
B: mmmhmmm
AK: Did you do it?
B: Yes
AK: You did it!!
B: Several times.
AK: Several times? She’s an addict!! (smiling a lot) did you find your animal spirit?
B: I did
AK: What was it?
B: A panther
AK: WOOOOAWW
B: Yeah. I have one on my back
AK: Cool
B: Yeah
AK: How long did it last each time?
B: Four years.
AK (suspicious now): Stop! How long were you under the influence?
B (I had misunderstood the question): Oh...(I laughed)
AK : Large dose for her, she needs some!
B: hahaha
Anthony laughed so much: AK: (making signs with his hands) Bring in the truck!
B : I’m lying.
AK: You’ve never tried it…
B: No
AK: I know, you seem like such a priss, you’re a Barbie, you wouldn’t try that…
B: such a what!!
AK: A priss.
B: what is a priss?
AK: A priss? It comes from the word pristine, pure, like the virgin Mary.
B(not pleased): oh, ok.
AK: Although I heard she had some problems with that stuff for a while.
B: Virgin Mary?
AK: Yes
B: Please tell me…
AK: She was into finding her animal spirit. She went on a rampage… with the Indians.
B: I always thought of that but not from virgin Mary, but from Jesus.
AK: Oh, he was a Party- O too. One of the original ravers apparently, they found a missing chapter and seems Jesus was raving heavily in the … (makes a pause and looks me dead in the eyes) hmm earlier teens of his life.
We bursted out laughing, and he reached and grabbed my knee! I was totally in my glory.
AK: baggy pants and everything.

After the little knee grab, I kind of felt like giving the gesture back in a more subtle way. The microphone became my best friend for life.
B: I need a second to fix your microphone, is that ok?
AK: yeah
Geli: She enjoys this
B: I enjoy it yeah.

There was my confession, which came out naturally, warped in what could only be a dream, but wasn’t. Then we talked for a bit more about the White stripes, his ozone ritual, and just pure sillyness in general. Then Anthony asked Geli if she could tell on the camera how nice I looked in the light.
So Geli asked him if he wanted to sit "in the light" too and he said ok! and sat right next to me and we talked some more. My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I was able to look at his eyes from so close…
After a while he looked at his watch and jumped, realising that he had a show to do. He said he had to go.

AK: “Maybe I can give you a round 2”

B: minutes?

AK : No, “a-round - 2” like in a boxing match , and this would be round one, and we can reconvene at a later time, maybe… after I play for a little while.

He offered round 2. I didn’t ask for it and definitely didn’t even insinuate it either. I can’t describe with any kind of discernable language what I felt like. I was floating in the middle of an anxiety of the heart, the uncertainty of life after an overdose of delighted bliss and the danger of the secondary effects of eternal hopeless love. Anthony, with his vicious hunger to have control, with his twisted sense of humour, his amusement and joy to stupidize lost-in-drooland people, his not so twisted sense of humour, his way with words, his beauty, his laughter, his seriousness before serious matters and his non seriousness before serious matters, his brilliance and intelligence, his charm and charisma, all of him , all of Anthony Kiedis, every single bit of him made everything worth it.

Making Anthony smile

To be continued...

Denver, CO (VOL II)

2007-02-25T04:26:00.000-08:00

I was standing right in front of Anthony, slipping my hand inside his t shirt. Looking at him straight in the eyes, smiling so nervously, trying to hold my hands from shaking , and specially to keep my knees from becoming water and bend in surrender.I was touching his chest, feeling his skin while I was fighting to overcome my internal turbulence .
I got to catch my escaping voice, my elusive life, and my petrified memory. I forgot everything that I had learnt in the course of life. Thankfully I didn’t forget the spoken word, nor the grammar which, some minutes later would enable me to have a conversation with him.

It took an eternity till I fixed his microphone. Or so it seemed. The “can I put a microphone in you” came out so innocently that I amazed myself with the spontaneous response of my biological/physiological need to feel his texture. “careful, my shirt is old” he said. That’s when I realized I was holding onto his shirt as if my life depended upon it. I looked at him and smiled. He caught me.

Right before we got into the bus, he was holding a big cup. I asked him “what are you drinking?” and he said “Scotch”. I thought “hell, scotch before the show”. That man has telepathic powers (one of his powers, anyways). He saw me thinking and he said “I’m just kidding”.So, when we were sitting right in front of each other I asked him again, after the incredibly intense microphone magical adventure, after a little chat about my “strange sense of diction” (as he called it), after he discussed the possibility that “vulgar” could be a compliment in Guadalajara, and after he asked my friend if she had an operating license for the tiny mini dv camera we were using.

B: so, what are you drinking?
AK: what am I drinking? This is baby elephant’s urine that has been filtered through a micrometer, so that everything that’s left is the pure essence of elephant joy.

B : That sounds very tasty.

AK: You get used to it.

B: I’ve never tried anything like that actually, I’m thinking what’s the closest… (I make a pause) I got my hand inside a bucket with a bunch of human pee once.

AK: A bunch of human pee? From several sources?

B: Several sources, yeah

AK: right!

B: Because I was dancing and I had my wallet on my back and somehow…

AK: …Your wallet fell into the bucket of pee.

B: But I didn’t know it was pee, I don’t have sick tendencies like…

AK: Couldn’t you smell the bucket?

B: I wasn’t smelling the bucket.

AK: No sense of smell in Guadalajara ?

B: I was just trying to get my wallet

AK (smiling): God gave us all a good sense of smell, but you know, urine is not as horrible as people think. There’s a group of people who drink their urine in the morning as a medicine, and it makes sense, if you look at it homoeopathically speaking it has been proved to have some healing properties , not just any urine, but the first urine in the morning and you’re not allowed to drink coffee and alcohol and things like that, but people have been known to heal themselves from drinking urine.

Geli: I got my own urine injected once

AK (in shock): injected?!!

G: yeah

AK: Injected?!!

G: yeah

AK: You took it to a new level.

G: I know

AK: Where are you from?

G: I’m from Germany

AK: That’s where they do the most advanced medicine on earth!! Or were you just trying to get high?

G: no, no no, I went with my dad to this health forum kind of thing and they took our pee and shit and injected us with it.

AK(totally shocked): THE SHIT!!!

G & B (at the same time) : “and shit”, “and stuff”.

AK: Yeah, shit is not… different substance altogether… But they injected you pee! intevenous or intermuscular?

G: Intermuscular

AK: And?

G: It healed my skin.

AK: Did it?

G: Yeah

AK (turning towards me): see? (makes a pause and smiles) It starts with urine and comes back full circle to urine. (I can also see him cracking up inside to himself).

I just laughed.

My first chance to talk to him in depth and we spent 5 minutes talking about urine and even told him about when I sank my hand in a bucket with all my friend's pee. I surely know how to be charming.

B: So…

AK: yeah?

B: what are you drinking?

AK: It’s just something for the throat. It’s a concoction of teas.

I took the cup he was drinking from, I turned it around itself to read it. He turned it and read it for me.

AK: I think it says : “Fuck the world, it’ll never change, gotta keep my head straight and let my balls (pause) hang”. ”That’s William Blake, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the great poet Blake.”

Later I’d found out that was a gift from Flea, which he actually did in his pottery times. Eventually I had a lot of fun with the image of Flea making that cup for Anthony. I thought it was so sweet.

We got into talking about things I wouldn’t have even imagined talking about with him. . We talked about cocaine and Manuel Noriega, about politics, he told me his thoughts about George Bush and all the Bushes, and he asked if I had been name after Barbara Bush, we talked about his eating habits, and seafood, and how he’s not against shrimp, but prefers some of the cleanest foods from the sea; we talked about his film collection, about the extraordinary sandwiches him and John prepared themselves on the tour bus, about how he uses imitation turkey and John eats real turkey, we talked a little bit about Snoop Dogg...

He pronounced many fruits names in the most perfect Spanish ever pronounced by any American man or any other planet Earth man, about how Anthony thought I was more of a Barbie than a Barbara and how Barbies are “used for cocaine smuggling primarily “ and have large breasts so they’re able to fit more cocaine into the bosoms.

To be continued.

Denver,CO, June 20th 2003 (VOL I)

2007-02-24T04:14:00.000-08:00

This day felt like I was walking in the core of a mist cloud. I sat inside the car outside Denver's Fiddler's Green ampitheatre in a sunny day and I was cold. So cold. Time seemed to freeze too.

I sat there for I don't know how long. My legs seemed to be on strike and not responding to my commands. For the first time in years I had to concentrate in breathing because it wasn't coming out naturally. Just the day before I was thinking of the irony of the situation. I really don't know how to explain this. I was in the chase of a dream actually never expecting to find it. It had been a year since I got immersed in all this madness, June 2002 in London. Had been to the Peppers shows 16 times. Had been backstage 7 times. And I had met him only once, very, very briefly. And I thought, this is as far as I can go. I was never expecting this to happen, not in this life time, nor the next or the next , nor in any of my 8 upcoming reincarnations.

I made several failed attempts to walk out of the car. Cold sweat. I was shaking. I was really wondering if that was persistence paying off, an accident, or I was still dreaming perhaps and I was still cold. I found myself wishing I could back up. To this day, all I can recall of how I felt that day is such a strange mixture of encountered emotions that I can't really remember most of them and I don't even know if those feelings have a name at all.

Finally found the strength to control my legs and eventually left the car. We walked straight to the backstage area and asked for the band's dressing room.

Immediately I saw Anthony who was standing inside, with his back turned towards us. I walked straight up to him when the security woman cuts my way through and stands right in front of me. She says that our pass doesn't allow us to walk into that area. I just stared at Anthony's back, wishing he’d turn around, for one because I really didn't think it would be nice to shout, and for other because even if I had wanted to scream I doubt any sound would have come out from my throat anyways.

"Who are you with?" asked the security woman, and I KID YOU NOT, in a totally super-hero- style-scene Anthony turned around, jumped out of the dressing room towards us and said "ME". Jesus Christ! The evil security woman had no choice but to back up. Thank God for the stiffness of my legs right at that moment.
He asked if I had found a spot where we could talk, I really didn't see that one coming and I asked him if was it possible to use their dressing room but he said that the rest of the band needed to concentrate and do their pre-show rituals. So he suggested we found a nice spot and tell him once we found it. So we did our scouting and found the roof. It was such a nice sunny day. So I went back to get him and on the way to the roof we bumped into Dave Lee who asked him if he wanted security to remove me. I gave Dave a dirty look. Anthony replied all serious "no, that's ok" and I stuck my tongue out to Dave and laughed. It was a show day and there were some bands playing around in the venue, even before Snoop opened again . The roof was such a cool sunny spot, but Anthony said it was too noisy. I had no idea where else to go since the backstage area was kind of small and busy everywhere. So, he suggested that we went to his bus...

To be continued.

Oklahoma City, OK, (VOL II)

2007-02-23T03:03:00.000-08:00

I can't remember what my thoughts were at that precise moment, but I forgot all the formalities of the spoken language of when you meet a person for the first time. OK, so it wasn't the first time, but when he actually directed his words to me. So he did it. "What are your names". Hell, it's not like he knows that we have met before. Funny.

It's so strange when you meet someone that you already know a lot about: where he was born, who his family is (even met the dad and the sister), his vegetarianess, his profession, age, almost nude body, voice... and he knows absolutely nothing about you. That's how I even forgot that when you meet someone you're supposed to introduce yourself. I felt soooo slow. Everything looked like a blury movie. Maybe the beer had some hallucinogenous substances in it.
No, it was really happening. "I am Barbara" and he shook my hand. Geli said she was Geli and shook her hand too. So "how's the documentary going?" he asked. I think Geli was afraid that I'd collapse so she said "it's been good" or something like that. Sound, as well as vision I was perceiving with distortion.
"We're just missing you" I told him.
"You should have come earlier today". He said.
At that moment I think I went pale even though we had been tanning on the road through the car window as we drove for 3 weeks. "We did, but everyone seemed busy".

"You should have asked for me and I would have come out".
OH-MY-GOD. I think this is when my sun tan completely disappeared. I looked at him in total disbelief and now I couldn't help a certain sarcastic tone and my slightest evil look that to me is super evil, but to most people it's just funny.
"Have you got any idea of how hard it is to get to you?"
"Yeah, but you the people here right?, you should just have asked straight for me".

I felt stupid and I am sure I was standing there looking stupid as well. It was that simple... Next thing I can remember is that I tell him that I had brought something from Mexico for him. I take it out of my purse, and the present, after almost 3 weeks on the road, with all the heat and humidity, well... was not happy. The wrapping paper was all torn already from being taken in and out from my back pack. So I opened it for him to avoid the wrap embarrassment and the present is kind of melting.
"This is disgraceful" I told him and he just... smiled. So beautifully that that smile took all the weight off my shoulders and lit the whole arena, already with the lights being taken away after the show. "We've been carrying it around trying to give it to you". He looked at it and didn't seem very thrilled, but then Louie came and said "isn't it gorgeous?". It was a panther head handcraft made by mexican Indians, same guys who did Flea’s mask that I gave him. It was decorated with very tiny and very colorful stones, glued together with wax forming ethnic patterns. "Did you do this?" He asked. I laughed. "No, that takes ages to make". To me it would have taken a couple of years of entire dedication and bad sight.

He turns straight to me and looks me dead into the eyes. Fuck. I had seen many photos, close ups, videos, and none of those had prepared me to what it was really like to see him straight in the eyes. They're a show on it's own. Spectacular. A landscape. And I'm not saying this out of the love/infatuation/admiration/ that I have for the man.

"Well, come early to Denver, we'll take care of you". And then he said he had to go. So he started walking away with his food plate in one hand and the panther head in the other. I think I stood there for a while just breathing. And then I just had to ask Geli "Did he just say come early to Denver?". We weren't even going to Denver. Was not on our schedule, just because it was a 12 hour drive from Oklahoma. And I was already exhausted.

I got a permanent smile implanted on my face as we started walking out from the venue. We left through the back door, and we walked by the band’s buses. I was glowing. I started to walk really fast because I needed to get out of there and scream all the contained excitement. I couldn't hold it anymore. We started running out, and suddenly a voice stopped us. It was "she'sahottie". I had found out she is the nurse and that her name is Sathari.

The reason we called her "she'sahottie" was because when I described her to someone from the crew because I wanted to know her name, he said "oh, she's Sathari" (obviously he has an american accent)which I understood "oh, she's a hottie"and I said "well, yeah I guess so" . So we kept calling her "she'sahottie" until weeks later when I found out that that wasn't her real name. Anyways, she said Louie wanted to talk to us and walked us back to the tour buses. Louie said “so you know we’ll take care of you in Denver” and while I was talking to him Chad got off the bus and started talking to Geli. Then Anthony came out from his bus too and stood on the bus’ steps just checking what was going on with us. I never saw John that night so I gave Chad the shirt I had brought for John, which was made by the same people who did Chad’s, except John's was black with colorful hand sewed patterns. (Three years later, John was photographed in Italy wearing that shirt):

Italy 2006: John wearing a little piece of my heart

We got out of there. And finally I cried.

Oklahoma City, OK, june 18th 2003 (VOL I)

2007-02-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

The pass of time has started to affect most of the hard drive of my memory. I barely have any memories about people that I've loved madly, or memory of the situations that made me feel life was worthy, love was worthy, and even the pain was worth it. But that, for one, more than a biological defect, has been a conscious decision derived from my unconscious self defense mechanisms and that now allow me to be a self with no feelings of despise, hate, or rancor.
And that, for other, in my heart I only keep the warmest feeling that I have loved fully and hopefully been loved too, and that I have always been surrounded by good people, good friends and good beings all given kindly to me by my good guardian Angel.

But what happened today, the way I felt today, the significance in terms of my own human spirit of what happened today will forever remain in me as one of the sweetest and most intense tiny moments that I had the joy to experience in my walk through life.

So we had been through West Palm Beach, Orlando, Raleigh, Charlotte, Atlanta, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, and here we are, in Oklahoma City, it wasn't scheduled because we didn't have the tickets but now we just don't need tickets anymore, the tour almost over and not a sign of an approach to Anthony. The most frustrating part was the burning closeness of Anthony's continuous presence backstage. I just don't have the balls to go up to him, just like that.

The band did their thing as usual. I had to leave the stage several times to drain a couple of beers I had, something I had never done before:

But they didn't play search and destroy, instead Me and my friends

At the end, we got off stage and hung around backstage. I told Geli I wouldn't move from there until I knew what was going on, and also because this time I had brought all the little things I had carried along to give them to the band. So we sat in the catering area, and Chad suddenly popped in there. He had a Pepsi and we approached him to give him a traditional Mexican shirt. It was a navy blue hand made ethnic t shirt with white patterns.

We started talking to him, and he's just so sweet and tender and caring and the coolest guy ever. He says he likes the shirt, and ties it up around his waist. We tell him that we have been following the whole tour and he seems surprised and asked us which show we liked best. I tell him it's really hard to tell. Then we started talking about Guadalajara, and told me he was going to Vallarta (Mexico) on vacation with his family. We were talking for a while, and I asked him if we could have a picture together, and he so happily said yes, he hugged me in the sweetest way.

Geli was just standing there checking the semi naked ladies out, and the coolness of this man was so beyond belief, that he even asked her if she wanted a picture taken with him. Geli went "ok", her not being the most enthusiastic Pepper fan you could run into. I just couldn't stop laughing. Then I asked Chad if he could call Flea for me and tell him the girl from Guadalajara was looking for him. No need to.

Flea had just come out from the dressing room, but also went into the catering zone to grab something. I don't remember what it was, but he went up to talk to this couple of girls dressed in latex bikinis, long stripes stockings and...nothing else. Oh, and long boots.

Then he spotted me and came straight to talk to me. "Where's my present?" he asked me. "I have it right here in my bag", and as I was taking it out for some reason which I can only blame to the remaining effects of the beer I asked him " But what do I get in return?", and amazing as he is, he replied "a 3 hour foot massage". I busted out laughing and I think I blushed. He opened the present and he said he liked it. It was a handcrafted mask made by native Mexican indians called Huicholes . And he really seemed to mean it and he said he had a mask collection actually. I started explaining the origin of the mask when I spotted this tattoo which read: PAPAYA! in his fore arm. I smiled and asked him why he had "papaya" tattooed in his arm. And he said that because he loves papayas and every time he goes to Costa Rica eats lots and lots of papayas, and that he can go forever eating papayas. I asked him if he has ever tried them with salt and lemon and he says yes, but he much rather prefers plain papayas. And that was probably the longest and deepest papaya conversation I have ever had in my life (next day he'd write a Fleamail talking about his PAPAYA! tattoo) He just made me feel so comfortable and easy around him, but he said he was quite hungry and that he was going back to eat. He signed some autographs for some people and replied to this big boobed girl who came up to him and told him "I'm a great fan of yours". He said "thank you". Geli pointed out how pointless these kind of comments are, and how many people come up to them on a daily basis saying the exact same line. I guess she's right.
If I only had one chance to say something it would probably be "can I have a picture with you". But that's because, as I said in the very beginning of this diary page, my memory gets washed away, now more and more frequently and hopelessly.

Anyways, I was feeling so happy, I had never talked to two Peppers for so long in the same night, and I thought the night couldn't get any better, and suddenly... Anthony came out. Of course, the few people back there went straight up to him. At that moment, I thought I had never ever seen someone so beautiful. I had never encountered such intense eyes. His hair was all wet and he had a purple t shirt on. He had a dish with some food on his hand. All the people started trying to talk to him, and all he said was "Where are the girls from Guatemala who are making the documentary? I almost had a heart stroke. I almost fainted too. There were other bitches from Guatemala making a documentary as well?! Thank God Geli reacted a bit faster than me and corrected him "No, Guadalajara" she said. "Ohhh GUADALAJARA" Anthony replied with his mouth wide open in the most melodic and amazing Spanish accent ever pronounced by human lips in the History of human existence.

And since this episode is a bit too long, I'll continue some other time.

Dallas,TX, June 16th 2003

2007-02-18T10:03:00.000-08:00

Maura left after the Houston show, so it's back to ol' Geli and ol' little me again. We sure are going to miss her. She left on a yellow cab on a rainy afternoon.

I'm in Dallas, aging not very gracefully, I have to say, all this driving and very few hours of sleeping, not much time to eat either, so I'm kind of looking a bit zombie with all these black bags, and thinner and you know...
Yesterday before the Dallas show we were hanging out backstage after getting fed in the catering room. Then it was all quiet back there and decided to go and explore the crowd while Snoop was playing.
It was an interesting sociological mix of people to watch. We talked to a couple of funny crazed out teenagers, pretty wild 13 year olds. It's so interesting how music can bring such a wide range of people together. It's such a non black or white environment, it's more like a view to all the wideness of mid tones and colors that make life interesting. All the punk baldness and the pink pierced Rastafarians, the freckled tattooed French/Chinese pot smoking creatures and then of course the generations of bad arsed Britneys among the heterogeneous mass of people. And then the rednecks of course.
All of them chanting as one this century's new anthem to our society's values: "Smoke weed, get drunk and fuck".
Talking to some dudes and dudettes we found out in utter shock how a lot of people were at the show to see Snoop and not the Peppers. I thought Snoop was more secondary, but he's not, he's actually a star too.

Went back into backstage zone and we sat next to the soda machine and refilled our cups several times. Oddly, in this amphitheatre for some reason there was a basketball court, and Flea was playing there. There was nobody else around except for Dave Rat, one of the sound techs, so when Flea stopped shooting and started to walk towards the dressing room I waved at him saying hi and he came over and I told him that we had met before but that he meets so many people that I really don't expect him to remember, so he says that my face is very familiar. He asked me where had we met, so I say Stockholm, and I told him that I have brought him a present from Mexico since when we met in Sweden he had mentioned that he loved Mexico, and that I had brought it from Guadalajara, and suddenly he goes " Ohhhhhhh, now I remember, you were there with your brother ". In fact that was my Mexican friend Alex, but still he got the point, and I said I couldn't believe he remembered me and he told me that I have a very "distinguishable face", whatever that meant.
But I forgot the present in the "Cockroach Inn" we were staying at, or more than forgetting, I just didn't expect to talk to him that night, so I told him "I just didn't bring it tonight". So he says in the sweetest voice ever "So what do I do?". I wanted to hug him, he was so genuine, and had the expression of a lost little child. I shrunk my head between my shoulders. He asked me if I would be around after the show, so I said yes, and as usual, we watched the concert from the stage, and while he was playing he looked at me and smiled.

The band is getting better and better. I think that Anthony can hardly walk sometimes, but he tries his best. He's still kicking ass. Anthony said last night, after a really amazing jam, that he was a happy person because when he wakes up, Flea is there John too, and Chad. A member of the audience had a big Chad sign, and Chad came to pick it up afterwards, that was so sweet of him!

After the show I was just so utterly tired that I went straight to say bye to some of the people and I spotted Flea standing right next to our exit gate, and he was talking to this super skinny girl, and as he saw me coming he cut her off and came to talk to me. He said hi and I said that I had to go (sometimes my train of thought is not as fluent as I wish it would be) and that I'd give him the present some other time, I apologized and I hugged him and kissed him good bye on his cheek and as I started walking away I told him that I might see him tomorrow (that is today). I asked him if he would be around and he said yes, probably. Which means, that I have to go in a few hours. I wonder why I was rushing so much now...

Anthony is always so close, but at the same time so far away.... he's always there... yesterday he was so to my speaking distance, just talking to some people, but I walked away again. I'm just not even able to get close and say hi.

I forgot to pick up my set list last night.
So no ticket, no set list, no sticker-souvenir. It's almost like I wasn't there!

Houston, TX, june 14th 2003

2007-02-09T03:21:00.000-08:00

Driving to Houston was probably one of the scariest things I've ever done. It was supposed to take us about 6 hours to drive from Louisiana but there was a giant piss down from the sky. In other words, it was raining like there's no tomorrow. I could not see through the windscreen AT ALL. There were spectacular thunders breaking the air and my nerves too. It got dark and it got worse. We got really lost in the highway and I told the girls I wasn't taking responsability for everyone's lives and I wouldn't drive any further. We don't even have car insurance. So we decided to spend the night in the first motel we found on the road.

Forgot to say that last show in New Orleans our backstage access was granted for the rest of the shows. Very cool. For some reason today we were asked to wear a "side stage" sticker besides our usual backstage pass. I think it was because of the radio contest winners who got side stage passes and somebody mixed us up with them. The difference was that they were being chaperoned and we were goign around in free will.

Groupies? Me, Maura and Geli striking a pose on stage

It was beautifully hot and sunny, so today we were hanging out in the outdoors zone of the backstage area when the tour buses arrived. I saw John and Anthony and Louie getting off their bus but didn't even attempt to approach them. Maura is really worried we're going to come off as groupies, so we have stayed away. As if... Whatever.

I felt so weird though. John walked right next to me and I didn't even say hi. Anthony took his grey backpack from the lower part of the bus where they carry the lugagge and they headed for the door into the indoors part of the backstage area. Then Louie turned around and I waved at him and Anthony saw me as he was disappearing into the door and stepped back and looked at me. My heart stopped beating again. But I am already getting used to the feeling of my life scaping away for a few seconds and I think I like it.

Set list:

Actually getting into Snoop Dogg, not like I have a choice after listening to him every night. Geli already knows what he's going to say, same thing every night, but i find it so funny, Geli can lip synch to Snoop's speech already.
As for me, I find it hilarious, really like the "Smoke weed, get drunk and fuck" song, and the whole audience repeating after him. "I'm gonna get fucked uuuuuuuuup" and "Snoop motherfucker Snoop motherfuckeeeeer" are the other ones that I can sing along to. Deep philosophy behind those words. In the beginning Geli seemed to be pretty offended by his rather misogynous lyrics, but now she just laughs about it and we're actually thinking of even buying the CD. Maybe it was the influence of the weed smoke cloud that he and his whole crew leave on the stage when they leave. And maybe that's why I can't remember anything else about this show or wrote any other notes about it.

New Orleans, LA, june 11th 2003

2007-02-03T10:02:00.000-08:00

So we skipped the first show yesterday in Shreveport. We were advised by someone truly lovely of the crew to skip it and stay longer in New Orleans. That was the plan in the first place anyways, but it is heart warming to see how people actually care about us, and even ask us to call every city we drive to, just to let know we arrived safely. Amazing, Incredible, overwhelming.

We're taking a big time out here, seems the right place to do so, we're skipping San Antonio next too, so that gives us actually 4 days off till next show on the 14th in Houston. I am exhausted.

I remember this song from the 80's "funky town" and I thought how maybe that song was inspired in New Orleans, although this is the home of Jazz and blues. Pretty cool place.

I think it's just now that's hitting me how many places I've been to lately in such a short period of time and haven't had the time to absorb yet all the flavors, colors, visions, sounds, smells, textures and beauty in every different culture, the landscapes and architecture, hotness and coldness of the different hemispheres and the sweetness and sourness of people... I feel truly enriched by this experience.

We hanged out in the French Quarter for a while late at night and this must be the capital city of vice and sex as far as my eye has seen. There were the ever typical (and some not so typical)topless/stripclub holes all around but I think the most shocking stuff were the posters of the "self sex experience" (and that was not having sex with yourself) which are those places where people walk in to watch people having sex on some kind of stage, except the people having sex are the people who actually walk in to watch people have sex, meaning, you’re supposed to be the star of the show!

There was something definitely cooking in the atmosphere. We ended up consoling a very young prostitute who was crying helplessly on the pavement. We just asked her if she was ok and she said she was too tired and her pimp (or whatever you call it) wouldn’t let her go home. Then she mentioned she was scared because of these prostitute chain-murders going on in the New Orleans area, and Geli freaked out after the word murder. Big time. So we ended up going back to the hotel in the end.

Anyways, for this New Orleans show we were offered extra tix and exchanged ours again outside and got to keep the extra ticket (and the gas money which is always a plus since we have started running poor) as a souvenir because snobbish as it sounds, it crushes my heart not to have the ticket that witnesses my entrance to the show even if I don't use it.

The show.

It was so great! Anthony seemed pretty happy and when John was singing "I feel love", a song that I'm just becoming addicted to, he was dancing like I've never seen him before. It still amazes me the way he can move. Then he started making all these funny noises in the microphone and was smiling a lot. I was smiling a lot too.

Me in the New Orleans Arena, smiling from inside and outside before the show.

At a point Dave L. and another guy from the crew looked at each other in amazement and started cracking up because Anthony went completely mental during " Don't forget me". So much. So much.

Yet another set list courtesy of Martin.

Half way through they started playing Apache Rose Peacock and I got so excited, started jumping and started singing from the very depths of my guts, so loud, but somewhen before "lunatics on pogo sticks" everything started sounding... weird. And that's when they stopped the song and Anthony seemed to forget the lyrics and said "We haven't played this song in 13 years".

Anyways, everyone kept being really nice to me. I'm still content to watch my band and the man in my dreams from a very, very itchy distance. There's no feeling like being on stage.

I feel love, I feel love, I feel love.

And I love feeling the speakers underneath my feet making them tickle, making me giggle.

Today I actually took the camera with me and took a couple of pictures of Anthony when he walked next to me.

It was a good day.

Atlanta, GA, june 8th 2003

2007-02-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

For some reason I don't have enough record of this show, except a lot of notes of the people working there -the roadies, that is -.
The drive from Charlotte to Atlanta was so incredibly fun. It was soo amazing, I was driving in the freeway and there was this huge red truck honking at me and I got all pissed off because I was doing nothing wrong. But then I looked at the truck driver and it was a RHCP truck.

It was Nick, so funny, we stopped at the side of the highway and talked to him for a bit. He had fallen asleep and the rest of the drivers left without him. He was making fun of us because Beverly took her own car and had Maura with her and we had ours, so he said that next time he’d run into us we were going to be a convoy following the band.

When we got to Atlanta the 4 of us checked in this Best Western hotel that Beverly had booked and had such a cool dinner at IHOP (the International House of Pancake, although we tried to figure out what's so international about it).

Then we went back to the hotel and had some beers and some funky special cigarettes. Ahem .So funny. Beverly brought this Chili Peppers light bulbs that we used to decorate our hotel room. We had the most amazing Chili talk I've ever had with anyone. It's just amazing to talk with people who feel your own passion. Usually at home I have nobody to do Chili talk with, none of my friends care and my dad hates Anthony already. Oh well...

I wasn't sure whether we could use the backstage passes again, so Maura-who-is-traveling-with-us hooked us up, and got us these "guests" stickers, because it so happens that she's so bloody well connected that she has "work" access for all the shows (she gets a "working" sticker from somebody of the crew. And the best part is that she doesn't work.)

And we actually didn't need our tickets to enter the gig, so we exchanged our tickets for some US dollars just outside the venue, only the exact same amount we paid for them, and we used the money to put some gas instead.

This time Beverly came backstage too, so it was awesome to watch the show with Chili sisters, because Geli couldn't care less, although she really started to get into the music, so for a change I saw the show with actual Chili Pepper girls, just like me, and we sang and danced and jumped and had the greatest time ever.

The cutest thing was Anthony dropping the microphone and he threw himself on his knees to the floor all clumsyly to pick it up, and pretended he did it on purpose. He's such a glow of beauty.

While on the stage, Flea came very close to us because we were standing right behind his tech. Flea's body smell is just so strong. We could smell him from a few meters away. God how I love this band.

What was really cool was when I arrived at the backstage area. Chad was there, sitting by the sun, chatting to the crew, but I refrained from going up to him because I didn't want to bug him and wanted to respect his space. But everyone was just so nice. Louis saw me and said "hi sweetie" and kissed me very European style (2 kisses) and gave me a hug too. What a lovely man. Then Dave L. came out and hugged me too and said he would talk to me later. Also Sam waved at me and said "Hi Barbara", then it was Martin, my official set list provider, ever so nice, and Tim, whose name I keep forgetting. Tim remembers me from Europe too (he gave me the setlists from Helsinki and Turku) and he was all smiles to me. Aren't I the popular one?It was a very cool show. Martin was going to save the set list for me but I left and I forgot it. So no set list for Atlanta.

Charlotte, NC, June 6th 2003

2007-01-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

All right. Beverly was an angel sent to me from heaven. Oh my God.

Beverly called us while she was at work, we were at her home. I had just had a shower, when Maura who finally decided to tour with us, knocked on my door and said : "Barbara, what would make you happiest?", and I said, without a doubt "To see Anthony", and then she said "Well, that might be possible because now we know where they're staying".
Turns out that Bev knew the hotel where they were staying at and so Geli and I went over there. I was shitting my pants. I don't think I've ever had such amount of blood going to my head at a time, my heart was beating as if I had run 100 miles at my maximum speed. My knees were watering and so were my hands. I saw the tour buses right outside. I took a few deep breaths before walking in, and finally I thought "now or never".
I stopped in the reception desk and asked the man there for the Tour manager. He kind of raised his eyebrow and asked me if he was expecting me, so I said no. He said he would call him to his room and asked my name. No need, he was walking right behind me.

He looked as sloppy as usual, yet there's something so charming about him. I look at him, he looks back and before I say anything he stops DEAD right in front of me. ."Hi, how are you?" he says just so naturally, like we just saw each other last week and gives me a hug. A sincere hug.
I do not believe that he actually stopped to say hi to me.
"Do you remember me?!" I ask him in obvious disbelief.
"Yes, from... (he puts his hand on his head, trying to make his memory work) Stockholm, right?"
Oh my dear Lord. He remembered me from two months before, when we talked for about 5 minutes.
Right at this moment I felt I was in a dream world. Again. It all looked so blurry. Again.
He was very much in a hurry. He asked me if I was staying in that hotel too. I said no, and started explaining what I was trying to do. He said "walk with me", so we followed him at his 1000 miles per hour, because apparently they were getting ready to go to the show. So I tell him about the documentary I'm doing. He seems to be listening to everything, but keeps on walking fast. "Come with me". So we're inside the elevator all the way up to the whatever-th floor, I think. We walk through the hallway. My heart is beating so fast. I look around expecting the unexpected. We walk into his room. "Sit down" he says. We sit on his bed, because there's nothing else to sit on. He sits on his desk in front of his lap top. "So you're following the whole tour"."Yes" I said."And who do you want to talk to?"…

I felt like I was at the doctor's. This man was there listening to my "problems". This man is a real Angel walking the Earth. His name is Louie.
He said that he would see what he could do, and added that they don't like doing press things because they've had enough with all the BTW promotion and they're not too happy about press in general anyways. "But I think we can arrange something". I was sitting there and in the corner I saw this package laying on the floor with the name Michael Balzary on it.
There were also some tea boxes lying around.
Finally I ask him if it's possible to get backstage passes. He looked all serious and said "the thing about the passes is that you have to stay out of the way". He wrote an e mail and asked to spell my name. We left. Drove back to the venue where Beverly and the other girl were already waiting for us.
We had a pretty cool picnic in the parking lot, and Bev, amazing as she is, gave me a birthday cake with it's little candle on it and everything.
It was close to Showtime. Went up to pick our passes and ... they were there.

I can't remember how, but suddenly I was on the stage, looking at everyone working. I will never forget this sensation as long as I live. I saw all the people jumping and getting excited the way I have always felt when I listen to the techs adjusting the instruments, announcing that my band will be there soon. It's always the same tech chords. Same guitar strings same drum beats. I see the signs, the RHCP love flow running at high speed in the air. The excitement in people growing more and more. The lights go off. It's pure ecstasy. If I could describe a tiny moment of divine happiness, this would be it.

The show was fantastic. Martin, right after the show came up to me and gave me the set list . No need for me to ask.

John sang one of my all time favorite Beatles song "I've just seen a face" which was fucking cool because I don't think I've ever heard that song live, ever.
I loved this show, it was so special.
Afterwards we go and hang out backstage because I was supposed to bring the presents we had carried along for the band. I was looking for Louie but he seemed quite busy.

Flea passes right by us and he said "hi girls" and we said "hiiiiiiiiiiiii". So girly!
Then, they put us inside the catering room. There was a guard right outside of the room not letting anyone out, which was where the band was hanging out for some odd reason.
There were soft drinks and coffee in "our" room so we just kept helping ourselves with some tea.
I went to the door to have a look where the manager was, and I was about to put my head out of that room when suddenly Anthony was having a look inside as well.
My heart stopped beating. I froze. He looked at me very briefly and I just looked away and got away from there as fast and gracefully as I could. I think it took a while for my heart to start beating again. I think I went pale.
It's not like I've never seen him before, but...Fuck. I can't believe I froze. Anyways... WE'RE IN. and we have 2 more weeks to come.

Raleigh, NC, june 5th 2003

2007-01-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

This show is one of the best I have ever seen!!
They actually sang Sir Psycho Sexy at the encore after Under the Bridge, and "They're red hot" as the final song, although they changed it from the original set list (yep, I got another one ).
Originally they were going to sing power of equality. But I loved that they changed it.

The crowd was amazing, They also sang Breaking the girl and I could have lied. I've never been happier with a set list! I was almost crying in my emotion, so perfect. I was sitting not so far away, but far from being on the best spot.
No success therefore, getting backstage though. I ran into Dave while I was on my seat and he stopped to say hi, and then went on. Then I met this other guy, Martin, (now I know his name) who was the one giving me the set list yesterday in Orlando. He remembered me from yesterday, but he said he didn't remember me from Europe, which was why I though he had given me the set list in the first place. He's so nice, he spotted me on my seat, stopped by and then asked me if I was following them , so he was a bit shocked when I told him that we were following the tour. I asked him about the girl who had offered us the passes yesterday, and asked her name. It sounds so much like "she's a hottie", so that's what we call her now because I didn't get the actual name. I asked Martin to save me a set list, but at the end of the show I went up to the front while everyone was picking up all the stuff and asked Dave to pass it to me which he kindly did. We went to the gig with Beverly, this amazing girl I met in OHG, and after the show we met this other girl in the parking lot who just jumped into our car and when she found out we are doing the whole tour asked us if she could join us. She's quite young, I think 19, but seems fun, so we said hell yeah!
Beverly is such an angel, a beautiful sweet human being. Yesterday, after the 10 hour drive from Orlando, we came into her house and she fed us and gave us such a good place to sleep. She showed me stuff I had never seen before like Madonna and Anthony dancing together. We watched it until late. She's such a sweetheart. She told me to pick some of her Chili Peppers videos so she can make copies for me. So we all (Beverly, Geli, Maura the girl and I) drove back from Raleigh to Charlotte after the show, it's 345 am, and tomorrow is the Charlotte show. The good thing is that we're already here and we can actually get up late rather than the usual 7 am get up and drive thing. But I feel like I can't do this anymore.

Orlando, FL, June 3rd 2003

2007-01-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

The backstage passes through my nose, again, twice!! . But we got a pretty amazing sitting spot because we cheated and changed places, and went to sit on one side of the stage, above the crew. The security people went down to chase us but we said we were waiting for our backstage passes and they left us alone.

Sam saw me and came and said he was looking for me and asked me if my name was on the list. We didn't even check but my guess was that it wasn't. Then he said he was going to take care of us, but we saw him going up to some guy and his gesture was a no way entry. Then Sam said he couldn't do anything, but in his kindest attempt brought this very sweet girl (who later we'd found out her name was Sathari) who asked me if we were going to follow the tour the whole 3 weeks, so I said yes, and she asked me if I wanted backstage passes, and I said "that would be very nice". But then she went up to the same guy again and it got totally fucked for good. She never came back with any passes of any sort. What the hell...

It was an AMAZING GIG ,Anthony was so happy and making faces and laughing. Great mood.
I'm sorry but Snoop Dog is shit. And Geli was very offended by his misogynous lyrics.

I was hopingto see the Mars Volta, who were supposed to open for this part of the tour but yesterday talking to Nick the driver, he said they cancelled all the shows because Jeremy died. OD he said. That was really awful and sad to hear.

Flea got really pissed off at this dude who was being rude to a girl and literally told him he was a "fucking coward and a pussy" and that he should get the fuck out of the show. He was so angry, and everyone started clapping and cheering.

Anthony was unbelievable, he jumped over Flea and when he landed he rolled majestically over the floor.This was so much better than West Palm Beach, I think that indoors venues are the best for the Peppers. I love Anthony.

John kicked ass, it's really cool to see him contortion as if he were the Super Plastic Man. At the enchore, he went and sat on a corner for Under the Bridge and this blond chick touched the tip of his shoe, which he stretched so she could touch it. Sooo sweet!

Flea came back walking on his hands for the encore. They all were in such a great mood. I think Anthony is getting some physical problems, he doesn't jump as much as in the beginning of the tour, and he went to take the oxygen mask again several times and put his feet on top of a small stool. At the end of the show this guy from the crew was staring at me and I thought that he remembered me from Scandinavia, because I remembered his face, but I just don't know his name. He was so sweet, he came up to me and gave me the set list of the show, and again, without me even having to ask.

This is just getting worse and worse, what the fuck am I doing here? I'm exhausted, and I'm not even half way through. Tomorrow we're driving to Raleigh and we're meeting Beverly who is a beautiful lady who’s giving us shelter in her Charlotte home in the heat of this tour madness , so that's pretty exciting.

West Palm Beach, FL, June 2nd 2003

2007-01-19T17:28:00.000-08:00

Note from the author: the scan of the ticket to come soon as I will need to scan it again.

Today it was my birthday and I day-dreamt of Anthony singing happy birthday Marilyn Monroe style.
The day started quite promising, we arrived early to the venue and we met the roadies just outside the backstage entrance. They were hanging around in their bycicles, enjoying the sunny Florida heat and talked to us for a bit and I asked them if they could find Dave for us. And that's how we met Nick, one of the drivers, and he's just so cool and funny.
We met Sam(the young-young video tech who remembered me from the airport in Sweden), and I have to say that he is defenitely the one enjoying all the royalties that being a roadie can give (in Stockholm he left the venue together with two mega blondes) .
Then Dave said he had heard I was out there and came out to greet us.

He was most definetely surprised to see me and he didn't seem to be too impressed about my stupid little present, although I brought a few gifts for the band and for some other crew members too. So I guess there went my backstage pass because we weren't in the guest list, although we were told by the other roadies that our names were going to be in it.

Maybe that got me down and that's why the show was the least I've ever enjoyed. I was standing in the VERY ass of the Sound Advice amphitheatre. What a crap venue! people with seats were all the way in the front and people with General Admission (like me) had to stand on a hill on the grass behind all those seating people.

Anyways, the best surprise of the show was "breaking the girl", then I cried to "I could have lied". So beautiful. Did I mention the venue was crap? And to extra crap me, something crawling in the grass bit me badly on my toe and kept itching all night long. I was just expecting a dog to pass by and pee on me.
Anthony introduced the "Kiedis colony", all of his family was there, then John said hello to his grandparents, and Anthony thanked John's grandpa for giving birth to John's dad, so he could give birth to John. How cute.
Blah

West Palm Beach, FL, June 1st 2003

2007-01-18T04:42:00.000-08:00

From : Dave Lee
Sent : Monday, March 31, 2003 4:07 PM
To : *************

Subject : Hi Sweetie
Inbox

Hi Barbara,

It's me Dave Lee (Guy of John)

I'm home now and was just thinking about you.

I was trying to remember exactly what it was that you said to me when you said good bye to be at the airport. It was very nice.

I hope your having fun. Hope to see you soon,

Dave

The day after I was back to London I got an e mail from Dave Lee. I don’t even remember what I said when we were saying good bye at the airport. But it must have been nice. “Hope to see you soon. Hope to see you soon” It was an echo in my head. Hmmm.

So somehow, two months later I found myself in Florida with my friend Geli from Germany. How could I explain to my family and friends the fact that I came to the States to follow a rock band for 3 weeks? Not many people understood, and to tell the truth I didn't want to bother explaining.

Anyways, we arrived at the West Palm Beach International airport and went to the Avis Rental place. Man, we have such a nice car, air conditioning, but most importantly the vital CD player. The funniest thing was the man in the Avis desk. Such a sweet man, he was a black man around 50 years old. He asked us what were we doing in Florida all the way from Mexico, and I just replied: "Do you know the Red Hot Chili Peppers?" he said "The WHAT?". "The Red Hot Chili Peppers" I repeated. "Chili Peppers? Oh no madam, I never take that" and he rubbed his stomach.

I am so very tired, I don't know how I'm going to manage to do this for 3 entire weeks. I don't feel excited yet, it's strange. I just feel numb. The air is so heavy, hard to breath with all the humidity.

The whole morning was very hot and sunny and suddenly it started to get cloudy and next thing you know, there is this HUGE thunderstorm. It was pissing an Ocean. Geli and I were watching it sitting inside our Motel room and then I started feeling soooo happy that I jumped BAREFOOT into the thunderstorm and started jumping and dancing. It was such a feeling of freedom.

Then I was completely soaked and had a hot shower and changed my soaked clothes into dry ones. Then just like that, the sun came out again, the calm after the storm, and Geli and I relaxed drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, talking about our dreams and feeling the Sun in our faces till it went down.

Geli (left) and I re-arranging the world

I am nervous though, I don't know how they will react if they see me around again, and even more, when I tell them that I will be following the whole 2nd leg of the American tour. Maybe they think I'm a psycho fan. I am anxious. I want to vomit. I want to go back home. Did I actually completely loose it this time? Is my head completely fucked now? What am I really doing? Shit.

The schedule looks like this: Tomorrow the West Palm Bach show, then:

03 June 2003 Orlando

05 June 2003 Raleigh

06 June 2003 Charlotte

08 June 2003 Atlanta

11 June 2003 New Orleans

14 June 2003 Houston

16 June 2003 Dallas

21 June 2003Albuquerque, NM

That's 9 shows. But we're skipping some dates because I guess I'll need to rest from all the driving since Geli won't drive, and somehow I don't think it makes much sense, at least to me, to drive back and forth. I wonder who did this schedule, so we're skipping:

10 June 2003 Shreveport

13 June 2003 San Antonio

18 June 2003 Oklahoma City

20 June 2003 Denver

I wanted to go to Oklahoma but didn't get any tickets for that show, so no Oklahoma. Oh God...

Stockholm, Sweden, March 29th 2003

2007-01-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

This entry is dedicated to the amazing little boys of Sweden with all my love (Olle, Erik, and specially that other one who's always in the pictures with me)

Jesus Christ. I just came back a couple hours ago from Stockholm and still I'm unable to believe it. I actually got backstage this time. My mother always said something like "where there's a will, there's a way". I guess that's how it really is.

Before I try to think how to make sense, I got another set list, I guess I can say now that I have a collection. There it is:
A song that I don't know and that Anthony and Flea dedicated again to two Polish girls (Flea tried to explain who they were and Anthony just cut him off saying "they know who they are")

And long long Jam which hey played along with all the Mars Volta. This was so cool they played all together and Chad let the other drummer play his RHCP drum while Anthony sat on the speaker to listen to it.

This gig was amazing. I was on the side of the stage and Anthony and the band walked right next to me, a meter away, when they jumped onto the stage.
It was unbelievable to be so close.

Me on stage, and Anthony getting ready to jump on it.

A few times Anthony laid down just 1.5 meters from where I was, in a pre-prepared "bed" (towels) to take the oxygen mask . But I wouldn't worry, the oxygen was there even before the concert started, it's just probably just something that he does to breath better.

Anthony leaving the stage

I met all of them except for Chad, although I saw him from a distance but I didn't talk to him.
After the concert I just went down the hall and John passed by very quickly with a dish of pasta I think, or something he was eating. Then, the whole hallway started clearing up and when it was more quiet, I approached John, but he didn't look as if he really wanted to talk, so I just said: I know you're tired but can we have a picture together, so he said yes, but I have to say he didn't seem too happy about it. But he did it anyways.

John looking funny and I

Next was Flea. OH MY GOD. What a fantastic human being. I approached him with this Swedish guys he had invited to the show and that me and my friend started chatting up. And I said, Hi, my name is Barbara, nice to meet you, and he shook my hand. Then he talked a bit to his guests (which was funny because he had just met them @ some place while he was shopping something 4 his girlfriend) and then he asked me where was I from, so I said Mexico and he asked me : "whereabouts" and I said Guadalajara, and he started speaking Spanish and he said that he had been there last time they played and it was a pretty place. I couldn’t contain my happiness. He said (in perfect Spanish) that he loves Mexico, and that he was flying to Costa Rica tomorrow. I told him that he should come to Mexico instead, and he said that Costa Rica is more quiet (which is right I guess)Then he asked what were we doing now (last night, that is), but I think he was more asking to his guests . Flea's guests were pretty cool guys and they told me and my friend that we should join. I talked a lot to Flea, well.. I guess in this case a lot is a bit more than 5 minutes. I told him that the show was great and he said thank you. I am so in love with the warmth of that man, I couldn't believe he was talking to me just like if I was anyone, because I felt like I was nobody there.

I love Flea, he's got the most intense blue eyes and he looks straight in the eyes when he talks to you and doesn't look away for a second. Am I dreaming? Then I also asked him for a photo, and he said, o.k. but I guess they don't like it much. But I have my picture with Flea too!

His Fleaness

And then his guests told us to join them to this club, and my friend wanted to go but I told him that I couldn't go without meeting... the man.

After meeting John and Flea, I had to wait for hours, or so seemed to me, to see him, because everyone was walking around, but not him. John became best buddies with the Mars Volta dude, his name is Omar, and they're like inseparable now, everywhere they seemed to be together. So I spoke a bit with the Mars Volta guys. They seemed to lighten up when I told them I was from Mexico and spoke with Omar in Spanish, he was so cute! Cedric can hide his beautiful blue eyes behind his afro style hair do but he can’t hide the fact that they are beautiful.

Anyways..... the hall was almost empty because they were kicking everybody out, saying there was nothing else to see, but the Tour Manager, whom I feel forever grateful to, came to talk to me and turns out he's Mexican, so we started speaking Spanish for a while. Everyone in the crew is fucking awesome, they're just like a big family, and they're all so kind... Anyways... I asked him if I could meet Anthony and he told me to come along. I walked next to a dark room which smelled like incense, but I had to pass by it and wait outside. I was just thinking, what am I going to tell him, shivering, unable to believe I was actually there, and I was talking to my friend when he said "he's right behind you", so I turned around and......................... There he was. So tiny and beautiful and holding three little carrots in his hand, he was biting one. I can't describe the power of his eyes...I just asked him if I could hug him, he said yes, so we hugged, and while we were hugging I kissed him in his cheek. I just couldn't help it, and when we let go, of a thousand things that I could have told him, with the most disgraceful kind of speech I could have ever pronounced, and with a breaking voice I asked him if he could have a picture taken with me and he said :" I have no time for everyone's pictures, but I enjoyed sharing this moment with you", and the manager said, that's true (in the nicest possible way). This is all so blurry. I need to wake up.

I also got one of John's plectrums that he uses to play, and on the back it has the rhcp star which Dave Lee, his tech, gave to me :

Just checking it out before the show

Next day at the Stockholm airport the surreal film I was on kept on playing. All the Peppers tech crew were in the same check-in queue I was at. And indeed we all boarded the same plane back to London. I got to speak some more with Dave and he’s a truly amazing guy. They got off in London to take their connecting flight to the US and I am now in London.

This must be a dream.

Turku, Finland, March 25th 2003

2006-11-17T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hmmm. I might have totally lost it. After Helsinki my ex said that Turku, a place which I had never heard of, was only 2 hours away, and since I was already in Finland... well, I felt like I had to go.

I got to know a lot of people there, I got to talk to some funny Finnish teenagers, one of the crew’s bus drivers, who actually gave us a beer and talked to us for a while, then he brought the guitar tech and we talked for a bit and he said he remembered me from Las Vegas, but I think he was just trying to be nice. Then before the concert I talked to Tim, who I think is a carpenter or something?, because he came up to me and said "you were at the show yesterday" and I told him from my sitting spot (which was the best, just like in Helsinki): "you got a haircut!" because he was one of the people I had talked to in Las Vegas, and he said he also remembered me. At this point I wonder if they think I'm nuts. This is the actual set list (of which I have a copy of that the amazing Tim passed to me after the show, and gave me the Helsinki list from the previous day without me having to ask for it!!). He's pretty cool!

I have to say that I didn't enjoy the show that much, besides the fact that I was the only person dancing and everyone was just seating. I couldn't believe it. The gig was lazy, truly, it's the first time I get this impression. Anthony didn't seem that excited either, I wonder if it was because of the audience. On a more exciting note, they played Warm Tape! I love that song.
Flea jumped on top of a speaker right in front of me and maybe it was my imagination, but I think he was dancing with me because he just stood in front of me and I was dancing and standing while everyone else by that side was sitting down....I guess it's kind of nice that some of the crew can recognize me now, although I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Helsinki, Finland, March 24th 2003

2006-11-16T05:36:00.000-08:00

12:46 pm. I´m so lucky to have a Finnish ex boyfriend . Although it´s weird since I hadn´t seen him in like 5 years. He gained weight, and is about to lose his last precious bit of hair. Sometimes I amaze myself on how much my taste has changed over the years. But he´s being super sweet, feeding me and driving me to all places. I am blessed.

4:16 pm. I just got my ticket for Helsinki and for the first time I have a sitting ticket and boy am I bummed. Everything is weird. People started lining up at about 4 and still very few people lining up, and it's not that cold. Maybe I got too used to line up since 9 am and I'm the weird one indeed.
There's something very sad about not being able to be in the front row. That's where the action is. The adrenaline, the noise, even the moshpit, but most importantly, I feel that's where you feel the most intense sound vibrations in your soul.

AFTER SHOW
Fucking hell, I was so sad about having to be sitting, but it was the best place ever! I was in the very front row of the side of the stage, almost at the level of the stage. A lot of the sound crew were underneath me, and that was somewhat fantastic because I think they started noticing me for a change. Yes. I danced in a way that most people in that Arena would consider ridiculous, but I just couldn´t care less, because I was dancing from my very soul and I felt every single note that came out of that stage. God how I love that music, I so feel in heaven.
O.K. So Mars Volta opened again. Too many drugs if you ask me, but the music sounds pretty fresh and like something I have never heard before. So that's pretty awesome. The oddest thing was this old guy behind me who started talking to me because it was almost empty when I got there. He said "I am Hilell Slovak". I thought I didn't understand well so I said "Come again", but I didn't misheard. Also he claimed to be friends with John and Anthony, and he said that he might go later to meet them. Riiiiiight. I think he just wanted to make a move.

Johnny was sitting on stage for a while during the Mars Volta and then he stood up and started dancing like crazy, so sweet! He had a funny colored hat on. He was banging his head and then doing a little dance . Then Flea also joined the stage but more briefly than John.People in Finland are scarily civilized, I bet that if I had been standing I wouldn't have gotten smashed or anything. So the lights come off and it was very cool, people were pretty excited. The set list:

Flea complained about his bass strap and how it was hurting him. Anthony's voice was great. BTW I have a copy of the original set list that I got next day in Turku . Yes, I went to another gig in Finland, but first I'll finish the one in Helsinki.... . The audience: everyone was sitting, but they weren't too bad in the standing places.
I was dancing the soul out of me, I guess I must have looked pretty ridiculous, hopefully funny, and some of crew started looking at me. And then, the highlight of my ridiculousness: I kept on dancing and being all super happy and all inner smiles, and I think his name is Patrick?, brought me a drumstick that Chad had thrown away! That was so sweet of him. It was just that I didn't even ask him for it or anything and he just came and gave it to me.
When they played " don't forget me" it was beautiful, Anthony's voice was very powerful and he almost sang a capella. Or that's how it sounded to me.. . I had an excellent time, as I said, the audience was way civilized, that was good to me for a change....I'm so happy about my drumstick!!

London, UK, March 9th 2003

2006-11-11T18:12:00.000-08:00

When we drove back to Mexico from Las Vegas I saw a "sign form heaven" (hahaha) I saw the A for Anthony drawn in the sky by misterious forces. So I followed and it led me back to London. In the picture above you can see my finger pointing at the A.After a little law breaking incident, which I’m not going to bother mentioning, I got no success in finding the Peppers in London. David, my Italian flat mate said that he had seen the Peppers before right next to our flat, which happens to be the Four Seasons Hotel, which actually made a lot of sense because the hotel is in the Docklands, very close to the venue. So I went to the lobby and had the most expensive little cup of coffee of my entire life, and I sat there for a long while to see if anything was happening. I felt so stupid, London is just sooo big.
I asked one of the waiters, and of course, nobody knew. Right. And suddenly, a whole bunch of huge men walked into the hotel. And of course it wasn’t the Peppers but the whole Arsenal football team. And I don’t like football, or know the players, except for Seaman, who became so popular after the World Cup because he was crying when England lost some game. Anyways, I saw Seaman and I asked him if he had seen Anthony Kiedis around, and he looked like "What??!!!!". I don’t think he knew who he was, and obviously noticed I was taking the piss, but he said no anyways, and ignored me and went on his way. I also saw Marlon Brando walking around Covent Garden, and I was tempted to ask, just for fun actually. London is a good spot to run into celebrities, except for the Peppers. So they weren’t in the Four Seasons and took the tube to Green Park and looked in the Ritz. I was so completely clueless. And I failed to find them, so I just had to be happy to be able to see the show in the very first row. I was so proud of myself, I finally learnt how to avoid the neck injuries of the head surfers: duck and cover your head. I was so happy! I remembered last time I had been right at the same spot in june, same arena, same Peppers, and I felt like my head was going to be ripped off. Still haven’t learnt to avoid the whole leg bruising. Maybe next time. I was right in front of Flea, and the show was just so incredible! I could actually breath and keep my spot during the whole show.I tried to get noticed somehow, not by flashing anyone (which seems to be a pretty common technique in those massive events) but just trying to hold some kind of eye contact with the people working around, but there were about 18,000 people in that place, so that was kind of impossible.

Las Vegas, NV,New Year's Eve 2002- 2003

2006-10-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Vegas. I still can't believe what happened.

I didn't meet Anthony or the band but I went to the show on the 31st of December, very front row and I was just 2 meters away from him. This is too much.
I got backstage several hours before the concert even started, around 11 a.m. and I talked to the technical crew and hoped for a backstage pass but they kicked us out and asked us to leave. It sucked and I thought I had blown it. I had lost any hope and then, I was just wandering around the casino when suddenly I saw Blackie. He was there both nights, the 30th and 31st with the girl who won the VH1 BBQ contest and had the Peppers playing at her home. She's a nice girl.

Anyways... I sat with him for about an hour and he told me the most amazing stories and he even invited us a few beers . He's such a cool amazing guy and he told me all this stuff about how him and Anthony shared girls, a story about a French hooker, about how he met John Lennon and one of the Beach Boys picked him up when he was hitch hiking... Then he talked to me about his work as an actor, and said that Anthony's sister Jenny, could tell me more about him. So he called her and she came over and she's just so sweet, so open and kind hearted. After the beers we had together Blackie hugged me good bye and told me he would ask Anthony if I could meet him, but next day I saw Blackie and he didn’t mention anything so I didn’t want to push it.

Blackie and I

Jenny, Blackie and I

On the other hand, the show was the most amazing one I've ever witnessed. I guess partly because the venue was so tiny that it just felt pretty intimate. On a side by the stage Heidi Klum was sitting there and when 12 o'clock stoke, they had started to play “Venice Queen” but Anthony stopped and he said "happy New Year" and the guys kept on playing but he ran all over Heidi and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. I have to say he looked really, really happy, there was this shine in his eyes on the New Year, and it was so sweet just how he threw himself at her. I felt so jealously happy for him. There were balloons falling over our heads and an inflatable sex doll going around the stage. It was such a special thing to spend the New Year in that concert.
John stopped playing and he kissed his girlfriend too, who was very sweet and told him to keep on playing. Flea's girl was there as well. Anthony was dancing so wildly that he fell on the drums and got himself hurt, he was bleeding badly and in the end he ripped his t-shirt off and the cut on his back was pretty big. Blackie said that Anthony was pretty happy with Heidi and that she's very nice. He also told me that AK had been heart broken from Yohanna and all the songs in BTW were about her (not that it wasn't obvious), but he confirmed the rumor that Anthony wanted to have kids and she wasn't ready. And many things more. I also got the set list, which someone from the crew handed to me at the end:

Guadalajara, Mexico, December 27th 2002

2006-10-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

I met Carlo in Mexico on a Mexican sunny day. He was a beautiful Dutch tourist and the minute we saw each other we had quite an spectacular mutual physical attraction. It was just fireworks. He symbolized the prototype of physical perfection for me at that time. He had the cutest little nose ever and had a nose ring, two big tattoos on both biceps and long, long dreadlocks. *sigh*. We became lovers and he became somewhat a regular visitor to my country.

After years of not seeing each other, I got an e mail from Carlo telling me that he’s got two friends coming to Mexico and asking if I could give them some orientation around town and an incandescent light bulb flashed instantly over my head and I thought that their timing couldn’t have been better because the Chili Peppers had just announced two shows in Las Vegas for the New Year’s Eve in the end of 2002 and the awakening of 2003 and I had been desperately and unsuccessfully looking for somebody who would take shifts with me on the road trip from Guadalajara to Las Vegas. There was no way I could have driven for 3 days on my own because 1. the North of Mexico is the heartland of the biggest drug cartels of the country and therefore a massively military controlled area, and Mexico being the corrupted country it is, that’s nothing to feel cozy about; 2. even my uncommon common sense wouldn’t have allowed me to do it, not to mention my parents and 3. and most importantly, I couldn’t afford it

I e-mailed the Dutch boys and told them about this amazing road trip to Las Vegas I was planning to make, how amazing the north of Mexico is, and how much fun it would be to cross the border and spend the New Year’s in Las Vegas. I must have described it a lot better than I just did because they were thrilled and full of joy to do it. They arrived to my house late in the evening and next day at 6 am we were up and ready to hit the road, the poor boys still jetlagged. "Shark", Thaijs and me, leaving the motel room

It was such an amusing experience to suddenly spend so much time together with a couple of total strangers. Sometime during the first couple of hours I explained my real reason to be going to Las Vegas and I don’t think they were too thrilled about it at all but I promised that on the way back I would take them to a paradise beach in the Mexican coast of the Pacific Ocean and they seemed happy about it and decided to continue the trip with me and help me on my mission to meet Anthony.

The Dutch boys and I in the Hoover Dam driving back to Mexico

We took turns for the CD player, the deal was 1 album each. They were playing Johnny Cash and other Dutch bands and I was playing…well, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We spent the first night in Mexican soil, in Los Mochis, where I have an auntie that gave us accommodation and breakfast early next day.

We drove through the most amazing landscapes: roadrunner-style deserts with giant cactuses, dry reddish mountains and vultures feasting on road kill and all. We experienced the unavoidable military forces (3 times) who searched for narcotic substances underneath the car, inside our cigarette packages, and any possible hidden little corner, and asked about the strange concoction of passengers in our car. I pretended to be a foreigner too and not to speak any Spanish so they just let us go. When the night was falling and after a 2 hour car queue we crossed the border through Nogales and spent night two in Tucson, Arizona. We had dinner in the “Waffle house” and shared the Motel room and also the boys shared their fantasies of who would they drive 3 days for. We had a lot of fun just talking endlessly and they were just very curious about what was it that was so amazing about Anthony. I am sure they were sorry to ask. I didn't stop for an hour.
Next morning we were up by 7 am, the boys exhausted and I so excited, we drove through Phoenix, through the breathtaking Arizona desert and through the biggest traffic jam I’ve ever seen in my entire life: the one at the Hoover Dam. I Never understood why it took us more than 2 hours to cross the infamous dam, specially because there wasn’t much to see at night.
I was so nervous already, I had no life insurance, no ticket to the show, no idea of what I was doing, no car insurance either and it had been a painful 8 hour drive, it was cold, my urinary bladder was completely loaded and it was already too dark… and in the middle of the hopelessness a sudden explosion of light in the far distance: The city of Las Vegas where the Chili Peppers would be playing next day.

Buenos Aires, Argentina,October 16th 2002

2006-10-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

Glue
Stuck to my shoes
Does anyone know why you play with an orange rind
You say you packed my things
And divided what was mine you're off to the mountain top
I say her skinny legs could use sun
But now I'm wishing
For my best impression
Of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I've got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
When you're putting the damage on

Don't make me scratch on you door
I never left you
For a banjo
I only just turned around for a poodle
And a corvette
And my impression
of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I've got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
When you're putting the damage on

I'm trying not to move
It's just you ghost
Passing through
I said
I'm trying not to move
It's just your ghost passing through
It's just your ghost
Passing through
And now
I'm quite sure
There's a light in you platoon
I never seen a light move
LIke yours
Can do to Me
So now I'm wishing
For my best impression
of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I've got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
To me
But I've got a place to go
I've got a ticket to your late show
And now I'm worrying cause even still
You sure are pretty
When you're putting the damage on
Yes
When you're putting the damage on
You're just so pretty
When you're putting the damage on

And this is not about Anthony and that's all I will say.

Guadalajara, Mexico, September 27th, 2002

2006-10-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

No matter how much I scratched, Pepto-Bismol I swallowed, detox dieted, or even routine visited the doctor, three months later that funny feeling in my tummy was still persistent. It was in no way painful but annoying enough to make me fly all the way from London to Guadalajara. MEXICO!

Of all places, I went there because that was HOME. I needed to start bringing back all the stuff and crap I had accumulated in London for 2 years, and visiting my parents is always a bliss. Yeah… So I went in the middle of last weeks of school, and mother of coincidences, the RHCP were going to play in town.

I kissed mum and dad and then straight to the phone with my friend Lululita (bless her heart)who works in one of the most respected local newspapers. For my joy and delight she tells me she covers the Events and Culture section and she's been sent to the airport to cover the arrival of the band to the city. So I kindly offer to drive her.

I try to look my best, but jetlagged and in my “I don’t brush my hair” era I really didn’t look that great as the later photos reveal…
As we drive to the airport my hands start to get sweaty cold and my stomach has an anxiety attack and I feel the urge to run to a toilet. I peed.
Well, after all my friend was as clueless as I was, and excused herself for her truly outrageous emotional damage on my persona alluding to evil-promoters'-press-ditching-mastermind-strategies. Some guy at the airport confided us that the band had arrived the previous day.

So on the show day I was up again early enough to make sure I'd be the first person in line and get the very front-middle spot. And I was.

This time around for some unusual reason I got very hungry, and when my beloved friend Paula arrived, she brought me a torta to eat and a coke to drink that I was truly grateful for, just 10 minutes before the gates opened.

I don't know what Paulita found most surprising of all, if the fact that I dragged her to her first (and maybe last?) rock concert ever (she’s more of the bohemian type) or the fact that I skipped my classes, left my boyfriend in England and flew the Atlantic to see a man for hour and a half jumping up and down on stage to the rhythm of elating melodies. Just the previous night I went for a good cold beer with her and my dearest university teacher, mentor and friend, Don Gus, and saw them giving each other looks of disbelief when I secretly confessed them I was in the country pushed by the mysterious forces of platonic love...

I can't describe what I feel at the climatic moment when the lights turn off and the music starts playing. It's magical realism, it's soulful energy tickling in the feet and ears, it is poetry for the senses, and an instant gratification for the passionate heart. I don’t think any music has ever made me feel like that before.

I looked at my friend's face the minute Mr. K walked into the stage trying to anticipate the minute she'd faint... She was JUST FINE and I was probably as shocked that she didn't faint as she was of the fact that I felt any sort of attraction towards that particular man (she’s really into older dudes I think).
We tried to go through the concert defying the force of the moshpit. This time I made sure my hair was well tight.
I was waiting to see Paula's facial expression and opinion dramatically change when the glorious moment when Mr. K. religiously takes his top off (to reveal his amazingly shaped and tattooed body) came. Strangely in a RHCP show, that moment never came and that's the only reason I could find to explain my friend's skepticism to believe she was looking at the finest man walking this Earth.

It didn't matter. For the hour and a half that the show lasted, my soul and my heart found the peace they needed. Then it was over and I was happy and smiled and thought that whatever bug had bitten me, the itching would disappear soon.
Three days later I'd be flying back to England, back to my baby's arms, finish school and then go to Argentina on holidays with him.

London, UK, June 26th 2002

2006-10-01T03:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I went to line up so early. Obviously something deep in my unconsciousness pushed me to. Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe it was the fact that I know I am short and I just wanted to get a good view but either way I was sitting outside the London Arena on a "Summer day" (if there's such thing in England) at 8 o'clock in the morning “standing in line to see the show tonight...”Well sitting is more like it.

It's a very strange phenomenon me and going to concerts. I sat there for probably 10 hours with no need for food or drink and the excitement even probably prevented me from even wanting to go to the toilet. I didn't take a pee or a poo until the show was well over.

The strange thing is that I didn't know what the excitement was all about. I only knew who the Red Hot Chili Peppers were until my then beloved boyfriend tortured me with their rather loud music before we went to sleep. It was our ritual to go to sleep with music on. But my boyfriend wasn't there to go with me to the concert and instead I went with my beloved friend Joaco. He just came 1 hour before the show to find his front place in line well guarded.

I only got into the RHCP music to be able to memorize the lyrics to their tunes so I'd be able to get into the mood in the concert because if there's something that I LOVE is scrrrrrrreaming and singing loudloudloud, no matter how much my throat hurts. So I went to the gig with my cd player and the Californication album trying to memorize the last lines just in time for my inaudible performance along with the band and the crowd.

When Joaco arrived he told me interesting stuff about the band that I absolutely ignored. Like I was lucky to see the original line up. Or semi original, since the original guitarist died of a heroin overdose. And that the actual guitarist almost nearly died to another heroin overdose. And that the lead singer was hooked on it too and apparently so was the bassist... Well, isn't that what they say rock 'n roll is all about?

Finally the doors opened and we ran our way to the front row. We made it, left side of the stage, "in front of Flea", Joaco said.

We went through the opening act who were really killing me softly with their songs, and everyone else around me was dying slowly too, and people started to get very anxious and violent and anxious, anxious, anxious and at some point I was finding it hard to breathe.

The opening act left the stage SOAKED and INJURED from all the bottle-coin-and-whatever-object-they-could-find throwing from the audience. I couldn't help but to feel sorry for them.

Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on stage and sat on a side just in front of us.

Shortly after she graced the stage with her presence, the lights went off and the initial riffs started.
The crowd went WILD-CRAZY-OUT-OF-CONTROL. People turned from a human mass into a homogenic animal beast. I started suffering the euphoria. Already and so early the crowd surfers were flying and swimming over my head.
I got my head pulled, my neck twisted, face slapped, my breasts elbowed, my toes deadly squashed, my legs paralyzed and unable to move, not because of the excitement but because there was literally no place for them to even bend.

The second the band got on stage the whole London arena was pushing their way to the front. The laws of Physics say that two bodies can't occupy the same space at the same time. Not to mention over +5000 souls. And that was only the beginning. The drummer, the guitarist and the bassist were in their spots.

Then a very manly figure walked into the center front of the stage and the euphoria metamorphosed into hysteria as the first notes of a song called "By the way" came out from this man's voice.

Everything froze. I didn't mind not breathing. I didn't mind the immobility. I didn't mind my neck breaking down from the weight of somebody floating on my head and for that matter I didn't mind the unbearable amount of physical pain I was put under. From the contiguous galaxy I heard my friend saying "I am sure Gwyneth is wetting her undies just looking at Kiedis" . Looking at who? I didn't know who Kiedis was but I was given no choice but to figure it out myself.

I remember seeing his silhouette through the back light. It was one of those miraculous/sacred visions. The light seemed to be glowing out of his body, out of his skin, out of his pores. A source of radiant energy himself. I was enchanted. Those Lenny Kravitz lyrics popped right into my head: "All of my life where have you been..."

It was the too-much-pain-to-bear situation that broke the hypnotism. My long hair got stuck to one of the head surfers' zippers and my head was going along. It became really too much in spite of my effort to keep the spot to contemplate the beautiful landscape that man was.

We left to a safer spot and I stayed under the spell from the distance.

I had been to many rock shows before... and never ever left a venue feeling the way I was feeling .I could not explain it. What was happening to me? What was all that adrenaline running furiously through my body? What's going on…

Ten hours in line, hour and a half being physically punished, pushed, squeezed, all the jumping, dancing, singing (or at least attempting to) and I left the London arena not feeling a sign of exhaustion. Quite the contrary, I wanted more.
My stomach was dizzy. My head was revolted. An inner revolution started within myself. My blood was pumping and my heart trying to pop out of my chest. I was In Love.

The Young Kentucky Girl that wasn't really from Kentucky

2006-09-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Scar Tissue that I wish you saw
sarcastic Mr. know it all
close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
with the birds I'll share

With the birds I'll share this lonely view

Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
I'm falling all over myself to lick your heart
and taste your health 'cause...

About 4 years ago I assumed the cyber identity, whatever that is, of Young Kentucky Girl after a life changing experience in a Red Hot Chili Peppers show in the London Arena. I left that venue with the most unusual sensation ever, a sensation of desperate and hopeless teenage love. To me was unusual to feel teenage love at age 25, and more than anything the mother of unusualness was that I wanted to be that Young Kentucky Girl in a push-up bra that Anthony Kiedis, aka the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, was falling over himself to lick her heart and taste her health for.

I tried to understand what was happening to me and spent countless nights and days dreaming and daydreaming about Mr. Kiedis. To my eyes he was a flawless man, an example of manly perfection, magnified beauty, immeasurable talent and simply the sexiest man walking this earth.*sigh* I had such a crush on him...

While all of this was happening I was just finishing film school and facing the dilemma of what to do with my life at that point and facing one too many personal conflicts and issues and drowning in a glass of water, the future getting darker and not seeing a clear way out.

So one day I had to face graduation and make my graduation film, and as an artist with the eagerest need for self expression I made a film about myself and what was happening to me regarding my feelings towards Mr. Kiedis and embarked on a mission to meet the man.

I traveled 8 countries and 22 cities not really knowing what I was trying to do or where I was trying to get, or how, but pushed by the spell Mr. Kiedis had put on me unbeknownst to him. I also found out, much to my relief, that I wasn't the only one suffering from the AK syndrome and not only that, but that it's quite common amongst the more mature women within the RHCP fanbase and that usually, they're the hardcorest fans of all, and that also they're not just Mr. Kiedis' fans, but true fans of the band and the music, because, you see, it all goes together.

Eventually my infatuation for Mr. Kiedis faded not as fast as it appeared, but it did, and the only one thing that remains is my unconditional love and admiration for the band and the music they create.

I cried when I heard the leaked version of Stadium Arcadium (sorry, couldn't wait to hear it)and thought it was the most beautiful music this band have ever made.

In spite of me, I am still part of this loving movement that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are and keep going to their shows(28 at last count), because for one, to me there's no feeling like being in the front row (for anyone who wonders, side stage view is really not all that great) and seeing them coming onto the stage and starting up their instruments to play their beauty beyond belief. It's always a heart warming/soul touching experience. Every time.
And for other, the real blessing that has come out from all these years are the close encounters I've had with other fans. It's blessed insanity to share our experiences, dreams and hopes accomplished and unaccomplished, stand in line for hours and hours come rain or come shine, singing along, killing time in line, talking endlessly about orgasmic moments in songs or how great a single tiny note is, and share the common ground we can hardly share in our routine surroundings or within our ordinary social circle, and just share all the silliness in general.

I see people wearing Peppers tattoos on their bodies all the time, Flea's tattoos, John's tattoos... and I understand why people do things like that and how much this band means to them, and every time I see one of those I just can't think of any other band on this planet that generates this kind of magnified unconditional love, although I'm sure there is, but I can't really recall any other name of a band printed on the skin of so many different people from all kinds of backgrounds. Me myself, I don't have one of those tattoos because although my love for this band remains no matter what, I have learnt that love isn't forever (but I'm excitedly waiting for life to prove me wrong).

Some people will understand and some people will always be quick to judge and quick to label. And those who do, all that occurs to me is, and I quote: "They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. You know, to truly love some silly little piece of music.. or some band so much...that it hurts."
Funny that I'm quoting a groupie, I never thought of myself as one.

Here's my dosed tour diary of those times that were. First installment to come soon.